Page 4 of When You Had Me Adapting

Imade the mistake of googling him. For nearly a decade, I have succeeded in avoiding him, but this morning I finally caved. Seeing him a week ago at Poppy’s graduation party really fucked up my head and as much as I’ve been telling myself I hate him, the vision of him walking into the party won’t leave my brain.

He looked older than he did at eighteen, but I guess that’s what happens when you haven’t really seen someone in a while. Gone was his boyish frame and instead he looked like a grown-ass man. His black hair was longer than it was in high school. A short beard covered his face. He was all muscles, tan skin, and tattoos.Fucking tattoos.When did he get tattoos? His ocean blue eyes pierced right through me. He was dressed casually in dark jeans and a black T-shirt that showed off his corded arms. His always present camera was still in his hand.

I knew it was him the instant he walked in. It’s hard to forget the guy who broke your heart into a million tiny pieces. Ten years worth of heartbreak and hatred hit me like a semi-truck.

I should’ve been focused on celebrating my best friend getting her master’s degree, but then he walked into the roomand took all of my attention. He took my breath away, but not in the way you read about in a romance novel. No, this was more like I had been sucker punched so hard my lungs were depleted of all oxygen. The room started to spin the moment he hugged Tanner and Logan. I needed air. I couldn’t breathe and so, I ran.

The only thing that got me through the night was copious amounts of champagne and Poppy. But now, it’s been a week and reality is starting to set in. He’s back and realistically I don’t know how much longer I can ignore him.

At twenty-seven, I shouldn’t care what he’s been doing. I shouldn’t want to know how he spent his days after he ripped my heart out, but here I am staring blankly at the dozens of links that popped up the minute I typed in his name. Well not his name, but his nickname.Jacks.That’s what Tanner and Logan called him at the party.Jacks Jackson.

I click on the first one and scan the words. Unable to believe what I’m reading, I click out and tap the next one. It confirms what the first one revealed.

I click out and scroll up and down, scanning the screen. It’s a mix of social media and articles all highlighting his accomplishments. The third link appears to be to an interview withThe Atlanta Journal-Constitution. My finger hovers over the words:Photographer Jacks Jackson’s Motivation For His Latest Discovery Might Surprise You.

I take a deep breath. I’m not sure I want to read it. I’m not sure I can handle what I think it’ll say, but dammit if I’m not a little curious.

He fucking did it. I’m not surprised. Of course he did it. I shouldn’t care, but I can’t help but wonder if part of him did it for me? I shake the thought from my brain.No, that was always his dream, not mine.

“Lacey!” Poppy shouts from across our small apartment, breaking me out of my internal dilemma and interrupting myresearch. I quickly panic-throw my phone across the room like a teenager hiding porn from their parents. It hits the wall with a loud thud.Shit.

“Please come with us,” she yells, her voice getting closer by the second. “You can’t hide in there forever.” She barges through the closed door of my room. I immediately try to hide under the blankets and pretend to sleep.

“I know you’re not asleep. I just watched you pull the covers over your head,” she says dryly, obviously not amused by my antics.

I peek out from under my comforter. She’s standing in my doorway with her arms crossed, wearing a bright pink bikini and denim shorts. Her dark brown hair is pulled up into a messy bun and sunglasses sit on the top of her head.

“Please come,” she begs. “The guys rented a boat. You invited Gray. It’s going to be fun.”

We’ve had this day planned since before Poppy’s graduation party, but then Jace showed back up. I pull the covers back over my head with a loud exasperated breath. I don’t want to risk him being there and I definitely don’t want to see him half-naked in a bathing suit. I don’t want to go, especially after what I just read. I want to stay home alone and read.

I peek out again and my best friend hasn’t moved. She has her phone out and her thumbs are tapping away at the screen. My cell pings and then pings again and again. I roll out of bed and stomp over to where it sits on the floor.Thank God the screen isn’t shattered.

I swipe up on the phone and am instantly met with all of those links again.I can’t believe he fucking did it.My breath hitches as I spy the interview link, but I push the thought from my brain and swipe out of the browser quickly. I click on the little white and green message app. Three separate text messages are waiting for me.

Tanner: >

Gray: This is my first Saturday off in months. Why is Poppy telling me you don’t want to come on the boat anymore?

Logan: I promise he won’t be there.

“DoI want to know how your phone ended up over there?” she asks.

I don’t answer her and instead, I walk back over to my bed. I plop down onto my mattress with a huff. “You texted everyone?” I roll my eyes and let my body fall back. My head completely misses my pillow and hits my wooden headboard with a thunk. “Ouch.” I frown and rub the spot that’s now throbbing.

“Well, you weren’t listening to me. He’s not coming. The guys didn’t invite him.”

“Really? They’re cool with telling their best friend he can’t hang out with them because of me? I mean you and Logan haven’t been together that long. I know you love one another, but why would he pick me over Jace?”

“Because I don’t really want to see him either. You aren’t the only person he hurt, you know.”

The edges of her mouth fall. I know she’s right. Jace didn’t just break my heart, but he broke Poppy’s too. I lost the boy I thought would be my happily ever after and she lost one of her best friends. For a split second I think about telling her what I found, but then I change my mind. Saying it out loud will make it real and I’m not ready for any of this to be real.

“Look, this is all really new, and I know neither of us were expecting to see him at my party or to find out he’s friends with Logan, but unfortunately, they’re friends. I love Logan and I love you, so please, can we go have some fun? He’s not coming.”

“Does Tanner know about all the drama?”

“No, you asked Logan and I not to say anything and we won’t until you’re ready.”

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