Page 95 of When You Left Me Speechless

“It was no problem. It used to happen to me all the time as a kid.” I offer a polite smile and try to walk away again.

“It is a big deal, though, especially after everything I have done to you...” Her voice trails off and I can’t believe what I’m hearing her say to me. I turn to meet her tired gaze.

“Look, Abby told me what happened. She explained why we are now neighbors. I get it. My dad left my mom and me when I was a kid too. She is going through a lot, and the last thing she needed was her teacher, someone she trusts, toignore that she was scared. I called you because I care about my students. I would go above and beyond to help every one of the kids I have ever taught. I hope I continue to get that opportunity.” I turn and slip my key in the door. I hear their door behind me close, signaling Mrs. Wilson is no longer there.

CHAPTER 58: HEARING SCREENINGS

POPPY

Beth and I move around the library, packing up the equipment. The past couple of days have been a blur. I don't think I would still be standing if it hadn’t been for my sister, Lacey, and Beth. Studying has not been happening, and I hate myself for it. Lacey and Olive haven’t stopped trying to get my mind off of this disaster. Despite their trying, I have been a complete wreck. Nicole and Andrea have reached out, and I can’t bring myself to text them back. I’m embarrassed and don’t need anyone associated with my grad program to know how close I came to not being able to graduate.

I suggested holding free hearing screenings for staff and students a few weeks ago, and they were finally today. We started this morning at 8:00 a.m. It’s now 3:00 p.m., and we are finally done. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted. Tomorrow is my last day at Pecan Grove, and it can not get here soon enough.

“Ahem.” Beth breaks my train of thought. I look up from the headphones I’m packing away. Her eyes gesture to the door of the library. There he stands. Logan Peterson. The lastperson I want to see right now, especially here. He clears his throat.

“I’m sorry, the library is closed right now unless you need your hearing screened. If not, I’m going to have to ask you to come back after we are done.”

I hear Beth speaking, but my world has completely stopped.

I’m frozen.Speechless.

“Yes, uh, yes, that’s why I was coming by,” he says, looking around the room before his eyes land on me, “because the thing is, the girl I’m falling for asked me to listen to her, and I didn’t. I really messed things up, and I was thinking I may need to get my hearing checked in case that was part of the problem, so I don’t mess up again.”

His mouth is now turned up into a small, nervous smile. “Well, you are going to have to wait,” Beth says like she’s protecting me. But he doesn’t listen to her. Instead, he begins to walk towards me.

“I know things feel screwed up right now, and I know you feel like this was all a mistake, but I just got done meeting with Keller, and I need you to know I don’t regret one second of it. I knew I wanted you from the moment you came into my life. I wanted to get to know you, even if that meant I was risking it all. I?—”

“Logan, I can’t do this. Not here.”

He stops walking and is standing only a few feet away from me. Pecan Grove is the last place I want to have this conversation. I hold back my tears.

Breathe in for four. Hold for four. Breathe out.

“Please talk to me,” he begs.

My chest is tight, and I can feel my breathing getting faster.God, why is it so hot in this library?I need to get out of here. I look over at Beth, who has been standing and watching this unfold. She nods like she knows I am askingher permission to leave. I grab my belongings and run out of the library, not stopping until I get to my car. The minute my car door shuts, I let my tears fall. I feel like such a coward.

Why do I keep pushing him away?

CHAPTER 59: NEED A JUMP?

POPPY

Ididn’t sleep again last night. Whenever I shut my eyes, I saw Logan standing in the library, begging me to talk to him. I’ve never felt this awful.

I climb into my car and remind myself that after today, Pecan Grove and Logan Peterson will be behind me. My chest tightens with the thought, but I ignore it. I turn the key, and the car tries to turn over but fails. I try again, and nothing happens. I slam my hands on the steering wheel.

Of course, it won’t fucking start.

I grab my phone and try Olive, but she doesn’t answer. Lacey left forty-five minutes ago and is probably already at work. I text Beth to let her know I’m running late and I’ll be in soon.

I throw my head back against the headrest and shut my eyes. I try to calm myself so I can think of a plan. I mentally run through a list of people I could call, but I know they are all working, and I don’t want to bother them. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe I will just text Beth again and tell her I can’t come. I’m sure she would understand.

I’m startled by a knock on my window. I throw my eyes open and turn to see Logan wave. He’s holding a hugebouquet of white daisies and an extra large cup of my favorite coffee.

“Can we talk?” He knocks on the window again.

I try to roll down the window and realize my car isn’t on, so I try to start it again, only to remember that it isn’t starting. I awkwardly open the car door and look up at him.

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