Page 92 of When You Left Me Speechless

My voice is starting to break, and my eyes fill with tears that start to stream down my face. “But, I am. Beau was right. I’m so stupid.”

“Beau was an idiot. You aren’t seriously still holding onto something that asshole said to you?”

I let my head fall back onto the couch. “Aren’t you still holding onto what Jace did to you?” I ask, sighing. I sit up and twirl a strand of my hair around my finger. “I know it’s silly, but I have been working the past eight years to get Beau’s words out of my head. You of all people should know it’s not that simple.”

She hesitates for a minute. “You’re right. You’ve been trying to forget the vile things Fuck Face said to you and I’ve been trying to learn to trust people again. It’s hard, but I think we can do it.” She pauses and grabs my hands. “Has Logan ever made you feel stupid?”

I shake my head. “No, he makes me feel like I’m the smartest person in the room.”

“Then, why not talk to him?”

“Because if I don’t talk to him, I don’t have to hear him say it’s over when he loses everything. I don’t have to endure that heartbreak. I get to be the one that broke it off, and that seems easier.”

She moves closer and wraps me in a hug. “He’s not Beau. He isn’t a liar. I think you can trust what he says. I mean, he hasn’t stopped texting me eith?—”

“You’ve been texting him?” My words come out sharper than I intend them to, and I break our embrace.

“Alright, before you freak out on me, he just wanted to know how you were doing. He’s worried about you. It’s clear the man really cares about you. He wants you to be okay.”

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth.” I stare at her, unsure what the truth is or what she thinks it is. She continues, “I mean, I didn’t tell him thewhole truth. I told him you were worried and scared about what would happen and he needed to give you space to process your feelings.”

“And that’s not the whole truth?”

“No, because I didn’t tell him you were falling in love with him too.”

Every moment since I woke up in Logan’s bed after that night out with Lacey plays in my head like a highlight reel. I think for a split second she may be right. I might have fallen for him, but I won’t admit that right now because it hurts too much.

CHAPTER 57: FUCK IT

LOGAN

“I’m in here, hun,” my mom calls from the stock room of her studio. I walk in and hand her the flowers I picked up on the way over.

“Hey, Mom.” I kiss her on the cheek.

“Well, aren’t these pretty,” she says, inhaling the bouquet. “What brings you over here with a bouquet of flowers on a Wednesday afternoon? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

There is concern in her voice. She sets the bouquet on the table and then returns to looking for something on one of the shelves. I sit down in the corner of the room and take my glasses off. Rubbing my eyes, I shake my head. “I messed up.”

She stops and turns, “What happened?”

I recap the date and everything that has happened since.

She listens and waits for me to finish. “But, you like her, right?”

I laugh because I feel insane. “Like her? I think I’m falling in love with her.”

“Then, what’s the problem?”

“Well, for starters, she won’t speak to me, and I’m prettysure I will lose my job. I can’t bring myself to really think about what Keller might do to her, but she might not be able to graduate, and it would be my fault. Also, most of the time we have known each other, we were pretending like we didn’t know each other or were nothing more than friends. When she ended things, she made it clear she didn’t feel the same way as I did.”

“Maybe she is just scared?”

“Yeah, scared her life will blow up because of me.”

“Well, from what you have told me about her, she seemed to be on the same page as you until that woman saw you both. Maybe she feels the same way you do?”

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