Page 55 of When You Left Me Speechless

POPPY

I finally emergefrom my room around 8:00 pm. I haven’t eaten, and I’m starving. I rummage through the fridge and freezer, looking for anything edible. I settle on a bowl of cookie dough ice cream before plopping down on the couch and turning on reruns of my favorite show. I let my mind drift to Logan.

“Oh good, you’re alive,” Lacey says, walking through the door, closing it and locking it behind her. “I was beginning to worry I would have to call the fire department to get you out of that room.”

“You know I have to study.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Enough about the boring stuff. You have to fill me in on Logan. What the fuck is going on with you two? What happened to your rule?”

My head falls back against the back of the sofa.

“I don’t know, it’s so complicated. It’s not serious, so the rule still stands. We obviously are attracted to one another, and the sex is fucking mind-blowing. We talked this morning and agreed it’s just sex, but we have to keep it a secret for the next few weeks until I am no longer at the school. Seemssimple, but I’m terrified we will be caught and it will all blow up.”

“The sex is mind-blowing? Like how mind-blowing are we talking?”

“That’s what you took away from that? I’m freaking out about potentially getting this man fired and fucking up everything I’ve worked towards, and that’s what you want to talk about?” I’m laughing hard despite myself.This is such a mess.

“Well, I thought it was the most important question.”

“Yes. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had. It’s insane, and we only have done it once. The chemistry between us is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I’m addicted. Not to mention, he feels incredibly forbidden, which makes it so much hotter. I’m totally fucked.”

“When do you see him next?”

“Probably Monday at Pecan Grove unless I text him and invite him over. He told me he would follow my lead.”

“It’s going to be fine. I think, as long as y’all don’t fuck at the school, they can’t really do anything to you. I’m happy for you, Pop. He seems so great.”

“He is, but it’s not a relationship. It’s just sex. Nothing serious.”

She rolls her eyes, “Sure, whatever you say.”

CHAPTER 34: BREAKING THE RULES

POPPY

“Good morning,” I say, placing my purse in the filing cabinet drawer. Beth smiles in my direction. I get to work collecting what I need to get through the day. When it’s time to head to Logan’s classroom, I walk there silently with Beth, hoping my nervousness isn’t obvious.

He is standing at the front of the room, writing something on the board when we enter. He is wearing a long-sleeved button-down with the sleeves rolled up. The fabric clings to his body in a way I have never noticed before, and as he writes, I can see the muscles of his back shift under the fabric. I know I’m staring, but I can’t look away. I’m lost in the thought of being wrapped up in his arms as we twist between my bed sheets. He turns around and immediately smiles when he sees me. I have to cross my legs to dull the throbbing that is now very present between my thighs.

“Are you listening to me?” I hear Beth ask behind me.

I turn to see her sitting at one of the desks. She is giving me a questioning look and drumming her fingers on her laptop. I begin to speak, but she stops me. “Are you okay? You’ve seemed distracted all morning.”

I need to be more careful. I’m a mess. I’m already breaking one of the rules I gave him, and it’s day one.

“No looking at me like you want to fuck me.” I’m doing just that.When we are here, we have to act like nothing has changed. I have to act like nothing has changed.I can do that. Right?

“I’m sorry, I have a lot going on. I haven’t been getting much sleep with all the studying I’ve been doing.” It’s not, not the truth. “What were you saying?”

She smiles weakly. “I was asking you if you brought our copy of the book?” I hold up the book she is referring to and walk over to find Freddie already sitting at his desk. Logan begins to teach and seems to be much better at following my rules than I am. He occasionally steals a glance but mostly focuses on teaching the kids. The lesson ends, and the kids break out into groups to complete an in-class project they have been working on for the past few days. I stand close to Freddie in case he needs my help. To my surprise, he seems to be using the strategies I’ve taught him independently, so I casually walk over to Logan’s desk, where he and Beth are talking.

“Freddie seems to be getting the hang of things,” Beth says with a slightly questioning tone to her statement.

“Oh yeah, he’s doing great. He was even helping one of the other kids.” I smile. I’m really proud of how far he has come in such a short time. Beth gives me a proud smile.

“Well, it seems like you two have this under control. I’m going to head back a little early because I need to run by the office before our next group. I’ll meet you in the speech room?”

“Sure,” I agree, excited she is leaving us alone for a few minutes.

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