Page 45 of When You Left Me Speechless

POPPY

There is just something about Logan that makes me feel comfortable like I can tell him anything, and he will listen without any judgment. He makes me feel like I’m the smartest girl in the room and that is not a feeling I’m used to feeling. Getting to know him is nothing like I thought it would be. It is so much more.

“Thanks for everything tonight.” My eyes lock on his. My lips part just a bit as the words fall from my mouth. My mind drifts to the thought of him kissing me, but before I have time to dwell on the thought for too long, he opens his door and jumps out of the truck.

I watch as he runs around to my door. He opens it, takes my hand, and pulls me from the truck. I stand there frozen. My back is against the truck door, and he looks at me like I am the only other person in the world. The rain falls all around us. Lightning flashes across the sky in the distance. He steps closer to me, and his fingers brush my cheek, wiping the raindrops from my face. His other arm wraps around my lower back, pulling me towards him. I don’t fight it. My lips part, and my eyes dart down to his lips. This man is sexy, and feeling his hands on my body has me desperate for his kiss.

His lips are on mine instantly, as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. First, soft and sweet, like he’s testing me to see if this is what I want. I feel his tongue against my lips, and I open, letting him in, letting our tongues tangle. My hands move to the back of his neck. My fingers run through his soaked hair. “Fuck,” he says against my lips. “I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks.”

His arms wrap around me, pulling me closer. I can feel his hard cock through his pants pressing against me. I buck my hips into him, the rough fabric of my jeans rubbing against my clit. I’m drenched, and it’s not because of the rain.

It’s like all of the desire we have been pushing aside for the past couple of weeks has exploded. He kisses me harder, neither of us able to get enough of the other. The rain continues to fall, soaking our hair and clothes. His kiss is delicious, and I want more. I need more.

I let out a small moan, and the kissing slows. He nips my bottom lip with his teeth, slowly pulling away from me. He presses his forehead against mine and stares into my eyes. For a minute, it feels like he is staring into my soul. I’mspeechless.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” he says, grabbing my hand. I lead him through the rain and up the stairs to my second story apartment. Standing at the door, I want to invite him in, but now that his mouth isn’t on mine, reality has set in, and I know I shouldn’t. We shouldn’t have just been making out against his truck, but we were. My mind and body are at war. I shouldn’t want him to follow me to my bed, I shouldn’t want to feel his hands all over my body, and I definitely shouldn’t want to taste his tongue on mine again. The truth is I do. I want all those things.

“I’ll pick you up at six forty-five,” he says. He bends down, kissing me on the forehead, and fuck if I don’t think I’m going to melt into a puddle. A clash of thunder echoes across the sky, and it’s like it wakes me up from this dream and reminds me this is a horrible idea.

“This can’t happen. Whatever that was, it’s too risky. We both have goals, and this will get in the way of that.”

“I know, but let’s live in the moment tonight and not think about the consequences.” I shake my head, and then he runs down the stairs, leaving me at my front door, standing in the rain. I’m frozen, unable to move. My lips are swollen and tingling from the kiss we shared. I watch him drive away, lost in the kiss that just happened and knowing it was, in fact, a very, very bad idea.

I finally pull myself together enough to walk through the door of our apartment. “You’re home late,” Lacey says. She is sitting on the couch reading a book. “Jesus, you look like you went swimming. How long were you out there?”

I go to speak, and her eyes dip to what I’m wearing. Her grin is borderline evil. “Whatcha wearing?” she asks teasingly.

“Oh, um, Logan’s hoodie.” I look at her. Her eyes are wide.

“What the fuck Poppy? First his shirt, and now his hoodie? How did that happen?”

And then, because I have to process the night, have to figure out what it all means, I spill my guts to my best friend. I tell her he gave me his hoodie so the random guys at the diner wouldn't check me out in my now see-through T-shirt, wet from the rain. How he kissed me up against the side of his truck, and if he hadn’t stopped the kiss, I’m pretty sure I would have come on his leg fully clothed. And that’s when I realize how screwed I am. How even though I have tried over the last few weeks to avoid this from happening, the universe keeps shoving us back together and reminding me how attracted I am to him.

“And now he is picking me up in the morning to take me back to my car,” I say quietly, staring at my friend who, up until now, has stayed silent.

“I knew it,” Lacey says with a smile. “I knew all this friendship bullshit was some lie you were telling yourself.”

“It’s not a lie. It’s all we can be, Lacey. I have to push all of this aside and pretend like whatever is happening between me and him isn’t happening. Falling for him will ruin everything. Nothing serious until after graduation, and especially not with Logan Peterson.”

“He just kissed you, girl. You said you almost came on his leg. I don’t think you're just friends,” she laughs.

My head falls into my hands.What am I doing?“It can’t happen again. It won’t happen again.”

“I don’t understand,” Lacey says, obviously annoyed with me. “You’re at this school short-term. Once you leave, no one there will care if you’re sleeping together. Plus, I have never seen you so stressed in your life. If you don’t want to be serious with him, don’t be serious.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I’m just saying, you’re obviously super attracted to one another. What’s wrong with a little stress-relief sex? Like friends with benefits. No one has to know. I mean, come on, you aren’t stupid. I know you won’t fuck him in the broom closet like those idiots at that other school.”

“It’s more complicated than that, Lace.”

“No, it’s not. Your guard is up, and it has been since Beau.”

“I don’t know. It sounds like fun, but it also sounds like an absolutely terrible idea.”

“Suit yourself, but if I were you and a guy almost made me come from kissing him, I would most definitely be having sex with him ASAP.”

CHAPTER 29: IT WAS A MISTAKE

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