Page 51 of When You Left Me Speechless

“Because this feels like it was a mistake. Because if anyone at Pecan Grove finds out about us, you could not be asked back. You could not get the job. I can’t let you risk that. I can’t offer you anything but casual sex, and if this is casual, you shouldn’t feel obligated to stay and cuddle. I said we shouldn’t have gone further than the kiss, and now we’ve gone too far.”

“Absolutely not, I’m not going anywhere.” His voice is firm, like nothing I say or do could make him leave. He rolls onto his back and rubs his face with his hands.

“In a few weeks, Pecan Grove will be in my past, but it’s supposed to be your future. We both have so much on the line.”

“I want to stay.”

“But what does this all mean?” My voice sounds panicked, and I’m becoming a little frustrated.How does he not agree this was a terrible idea?

The words continually fall from my mouth once they start. I can’t stop them. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, that was amazing, and you’re amazing, but fuck, what are we doing? What are we going to do about Pecan Grove? We practically work together. Those people at the middle school lost everything. This was a mistake, was it not? We can’t?—”

He pulls me into his lap so we are facing each other. My legs straddle him. Nothing but the thin sheet between us. Heleans forward, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “Let’s not worry about it, not tonight. We have all weekend to figure it out, but for tonight, I just want to lay here and hold you because it’s all I’ve wanted to do for weeks.” He kisses me again.

The problem is that once Logan starts kissing me, I don’t want him to stop. Every rational thought I have about this being a horrible idea disappears with his kiss, and my body starts to crave his touch. It’s intoxicating, and so I agree, against my better judgment, because even though this risks everything, the truth is I want him to hold me, too.

CHAPTER 32: LET’S TALK

LOGAN

Iwake up to see Poppy pacing back and forth in front of the door to her room. She bites her thumbnail and is talking to herself.

I find my glasses on the bedside table and take a minute to admire her. Her freckles, which are usually somewhat hidden under her makeup, cover her entire face and her hair is a mess. She’s wearing nothing but my T-shirt. She looks fucking beautiful.

“Mornin’, chatterbox,” I say, running my hands through my hair. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Want to join me?” She stops and stares at me. “Look, I know you are freaking out, but let’s get a shower, some coffee, and then we can talk about all of it, okay?”

I stand and walk over to her, wrapping her in my arms. We stay like that for a minute before I bend down and kiss her. Pressing my luck, my tongue inches forward, requesting her to let me in. To my surprise, she does. My hands move to the back of her head and wrap around her long hair. I slightly tug, tipping her head back, giving me more access to her mouth. I hear her let out a soft moan. The sounds this girl makes will be my undoing. She pullsaway and she’s staring at me now, her lips parted like she wants to say something, or maybe she wants me to kiss her again.

“Do you want to join me?” I ask again, gesturing toward her bathroom. She takes a step back from me, and her shoulders slouch.

She rubs her forehead like she has a headache.

I can tell she is stressed, and that’s not what I want. I want nothing more than for her to follow me into her bathroom so we can avoid this conversation I know she wants to have. I reach out for her hand, begging her to follow me, and she pushes it away.

“We need to talk about last night.”

“Or I could take you into the shower and make you forget everything you're currently thinking about, and then we could get some coffee.”

She breathes deep and sighs. “Why don’t we take showers separately, and then we can talk about it? God, I knew you staying over was a bad idea. I can’t?—”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to stress you out, I swear. Do you want to shower first, or should I?”

“You can. I’ll need the bathroom longer.” She sits down on her bed. “Don’t take all the hot water. Towels are under the sink.”

She walksout of her bathroom wearing leggings and an oversized T-shirt. I stand to move towards her, wanting to kiss her again.

She smiles and takes a deep breath. Holding her arm out to keep distance between us, “Don’t you dare. We need to talk this through, and if you get close to me, you will distract me, and we will never have this conversation.”

“I’ll distract you?”

“Yes, you will. You will kiss me or touch me, and I will forget this is a terrible idea.” She crosses her arms.

I throw my head back and sigh. I take another step in her direction. “You want me that bad?”

She steps back, “What I want is to talk.”

“Okay, but you promised me coffee first.”

She take a deep breath and rolls her eyes. “Lacey is probably home. I should go out first, and then maybe you can sneak out my window?”

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