Page 37 of When You Left Me Speechless

My appearance is quickly forgotten when my eyes land on his desk and I freeze. The desk that he cleared off and took me on top of in my dream. My subconscious betrays me completely, and my dirty dream becomes a daydream in an instant.My mind wanders between the dream and the self-induced orgasm that happened after.

“You okay?” Beth asks from behind me, reminding me of where I am and that as much as I’m attracted to Logan Peterson, I cannot have him.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” I shuffle forward into his classroom. Logan is at the board and turns to meet us.

“Rough morning?” he asks as I walk in, scanning the room for the student who is forcing us together.

“Huh? Oh, is it that obvious?” I ask him, scowling and a little embarrassed he’s noticing my appearance.

“Oh no, that’s not what I meant. You look beautiful, er, no, not beautiful.”

“I don’t look beautiful?”

“No, that’s not what I meant either.” He runs his hands through his light brown hair nervously. “You look fine.”

“I look fine…”

I hear Beth laugh. “Somebody didn’t get her ventiStarbucks this morning,” she says, looking at me with an apologetic smile.

“I’ll admit I’ve had better mornings. Just a little more tired than usual, but still happy to be here. Glad I look fine.” I cut my eyes toward him and walk over to Freddie. “Morning, bud,” I say. “You ready to work?” Freddie smiles and nods.

What the hell was that?

“HaveI told you how proud I am of you?” Beth says as we walk back from the first grade hall an hour and a half later. “I mean, Freddie is doing so well, and making friendship bracelets with the kids today was such a good idea. They loved it.”

“Thanks, I didn’t know there were so many six-year-old Swifties,” I laugh.

We walk back into the speech room and I hand Beth the containers full of beads. She walks them over, sets them on the bookshelf, and I head over to the table. Next to my clipboard sits two white styrofoam cups filled to the brim with creamy breakroom coffee. I stare at them, looking for any indication of who would have dropped them off. A white napkin sits under one of the cups; messy letters are barely visible around the base. I lift the cup and take a sip. It’s perfect. Just the way I like it. I look down and see a note written on the top of the napkin.

I know you like them big, so I brought you two.

Drink up, chatterbox! -L

His phone number is scribbled underneath his message. Butterflies fill my stomach. I feel my cheeks turn red. I quickly stuff the napkin in my bag before Beth sees it.

“Do you have a secret admirer?” she asks, laughing.

“What? Uh, no, of course not. I think Ruth left them.” My eyes dart to the front pocket of my bag where the note is hidden. “I saw her on my way in this morning and told her I didn’t have time for coffee. She mentioned the break room coffee wasn’t bad.” I can hear the panic rising in my throat as I speak, even though I try to push it down. I know I sound freaked out at the idea.

“Oh, I’m playing around. Forgive me.” She laughs a little while she talks. “Did she bring you two?”

“Oh, um, I think one is meant for you.”

She walks over and grabs the cup still sitting on the table. I sit there for a second, trying to compose myself. I contemplate whether or not I should text him. I could just send him my name in case he needs to reach me, or I could tell him thank you for the coffee. There is no harm in sending a platonic text thanking him, right?God, what’s wrong with me?I don’t need to give this man my phone number. There is no reason he needs it other than to talk outside of work, which we will most definitely not be doing.

CHAPTER 24: SPOONING

LOGAN

Igave her my number impulsively, and I shouldn’t have. Yesterday in class felt normal. She has been very clear this can not go further than a workplace friendship, at best, but I can’t help myself when it comes to Poppy.

After seeing her yesterday morning looking exhausted I knew she needed a coffee, and breakroom coffee was the best I could do. After I dropped it off, I was distracted the rest of the day and most of the night, hoping my phone would buzz and it would be her. To my disappointment, she never texted me.

I walk down the hall towards the cafeteria. I hear my phone vibrate, and I scramble to check to see if it’s her. It’s not, and I immediately feel like a dumbass.

My dad’s name flashes across the screen and I send it to voicemail.

When I walk into the busy lunchroom, my eyes immediately find her sitting across the room with the Tuesday Talkers Club. It looks like she is running the club solo this morning because Beth is nowhere to be found. I decide to take a lap around the cafeteria to assess the area and see where I might be needed.I’m definitely not walking around to get closer to her.

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