Page 2 of When You Left Me Speechless

“Um, yes, sorry.” I begin again, “I got an email today informing me my pediatric externship will not happen. Something about the hospital booking two students for one therapist. It seems I may have mixed up the dates on the initial forms. I was hoping you could help me find a new one before next Monday.”

She blinks as the words fall out of my mouth. The silence is almost too much for me to bear. I have worked hard to earn this degree over the last five and a half years. I’m so close, and it feels like it will all be ruined because of a clerical error. The idea it may be delayed more than I’ve already had to postpone it makes the knot in my stomach tighten. Maybe my ex, Beau, was right about me after all.

Dr. Williams clears her throat, and I realize I’ve been staring off, lost in my thoughts. “I’m sorry to hear that happened, Ms. Collins, but unfortunately, all the externships have been filled. You are welcome to call around and see if anyone can take you on such short notice.”

“You don’t have anywhere I can go?” The question pops out of my mouth before my brain can process a better response.

“Well, the externships start a week from Monday. None of our contracted placements are available, so now it is up to you.”

“What if I can’t find a placement?” My heart is racing.I know it’s short notice, but damn, is she really not going to help me?

“As you know, completing your coursework and clinical externships are a prerequisite for sitting for your exams. That said, if you can’t find a placement by Monday, we will have to delay your exams and your graduation until December.”

“But, who do I call?” I can feel a cry lodged in my throat, but I do my best to swallow it down.

“Anyone you can. If we don’t have a contract with them, I can help secure one, but you are responsible for finding somewhere to go.” She digs in her desk, locates a piece of paper,and hands it to me. “Your classmates are already using all of these places. So, this list will at least give you an idea of where not to call.”

I take the paper and thank her for her time. She gives me a quick nod and then starts to type on her computer, silently dismissing me from her office. I walk out, shutting the door behind me. This feels like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.

What the hell am I going to do?

The paper lists thirty or so places that already have a student. I try to remind myself there are more than thirty places in Georgia that could take me, but where do I start? I contemplate my options when my phone vibrates and I pull it out of my bag. My big sister’s name flashes across the screen.

“Hey, Sis,” I say through my best ‘I’m not totally fucked’ fake smile. I slump onto a nearby bench outside the building, letting my bag hit the ground.

“What’s wrong?” she asks immediately, knowing me better than I know myself and never falling for my bullshit.

“Well, I got an email from the hospital this morning. I’m an idiot and mixed up the dates on the forms I submitted, and now I have nowhere to go. I just left Dr. Williams’ office, and god was she a bitch. Offered me barely any help. Essentially told me this was on me, and I needed to find a placement before next Monday, or I’m not graduating until December.”

“Shit. Are you okay?”

“No. You know how hard I worked after the whole Beau disaster to get to where I am now. I feel like it’s all gone to shit in a matter of a day. I can’t afford another semester. I need to finish in May.”

“I know, I know.” She pauses. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could take you as my student.”

“You know they would never allow it.”

“I could call around and see if anyone in my school district can take you?”

I pause and weigh my options. School speech therapistwas not my plan, but what other choices do I have? I scan the paper I’m holding.

“I don’t know, Ollie. She gave me a list of places already being used. Your school district is on it. Plus, I was really hoping for something more medical.”

“There is no way every school has a student. My district is huge. Let me see if I can pull some strings. I mean, what other options do you have?”

“I know you’re right. It’s just that I was so excited to be at the hospital.”

“I know you were, but I love working in a school. I’m sure you will too. Let’s meet up tomorrow, and I’ll see if I can pull some strings.” I nod my head in response, even though she can’t see me. “Hey, I know you’re freaking out, but try not to panic. We will figure it out. I love you.”

“Thanks, Sis. I love you too.”

CHAPTER 2: COLD CALLS AND HOT COFFEE

POPPY

I’m desperate for a cup of coffee when Lacey and I walk into the small corner cafe near our apartment. A little bit of my anxiety wanes when I see my sister. Olive waves and smiles big. “Goodness, some things never change, do they?” she teases as I hug her. “You’re turning twenty-seven this year, and I’m still having to bail your ass out.”

“Very funny,” I say blankly. She releases her hug and grabs my shoulders, squeezing tightly. “We will find somewhere, don’t worry. Let’s get you some coffee. You look like you barely slept last night.”

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