Page 70 of The Perfect Love

A stilted laugh slips from her. “I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Me either.”

“But you don’t think—”

“I know it wasn’t him. But… we’ve had these cool little connections to each other. His family camped multiple summers at my family’s campground. We both went to Syracuse, and we talked about whether we passed each other on campus or ever saw each other. It was a surprisingly warm, fuzzy feeling given the negative memories I have there. But now this? Knowing he might know the person who assaulted me? Be friends with them? I’m not sure I can handle it.”

“What is it that scares you the most?”

I pull my knees up to my chest and close my eyes for a moment, tears filling them. When I finally look back at the screen, my stomach churns with nausea.

“That he might be connected to the worst moment of my life. I don’t want to even vaguely associate him with that.”

“That’s fair. But let’s take a step back. It may not have been a baseball player who assaulted you, right?”

“Right. I know that. He drugged and raped me. Why should I believe he was telling the truth about that?”

A bit of the tension in my chest uncoils.

“But if it was someone he knew, are you worried he’d take their side? Continue to be friends with them? Stand up for them?”

“No.” Because I may not have known Trevor long, but his character is evident. And Rae’s words about her assault back that up. “I’m fairly certain he’d cut that person out of his life entirely. Not because of me, but because he wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that.”

“And if he did know them and it could help convict that person?”

A rush of air falls from my mouth. I hadn’t even thought of that.

“I think he’d help however he could.”

“And how would you feel about it?”

“It scares me, but I’d want to pursue it. No one should get away with rape.”

“So, now that we’ve gone through all those things… what’s really upsetting you the most about this?”

“That I finally found something good. Someonegood. He makes me happy. And it was so nice not to live under the umbrella of what I’ve been through. I don’t want this connection to taint that.”

“Then don’t let it. Yes, you know this connection exists, but it doesn’t have to color your relationship with him differently. There are still unknowns here, but from what you’ve said, he sounds like a good person. There’s every chance that once you tell him, if you let this color your relationship with him differently, those colors will only be more vibrant if he chooses you, stands up for you, fights for you.”

She’s right.God, she’s so right it hurts. Lettinghimaffect my relationship with Trevor is the last thing I want. Letting him affect me at all anymore is not okay. He took enough from me. He’s not getting anymore.

“I kinda feel like you just punched my soul.”

She gives a soft smile and a shrug. “Therapy will do that.”

“Is it okay that I’m not quite ready to tell him yet?”

“Whatever you’re ready for is okay, but don’t let it slip into hiding this from him. If you’re going to have a true relationship with him, you will have to tell him.”

“I know. I was looking forward to just enjoying falling for him.”

“And you still can. You set the timeline on this.”

I nod slowly. “Our friend said something that makes me think he’s been through something traumatic regarding baseball. I’m not sure if I should talk to him about it.”

“Do you want to?”

I ruffle my hair and stretch my legs, anxious energy kicking in now that my mind is a bit more settled.

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