Page 195 of The Perfect Love

“Are we okay?” he whispers, voice rough.

“We’re better than okay. I’m sorry I left you. There was so much going on in my mind, and I thought if I tried to face the ways you’re now entangled in this story with you right there, it would’ve been too hard and confusing.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I read way too much into it because I was blaming myself.” He rubs a hand over his face. “It’s a good thing I made a therapy appointment. I can’t believe I spent the week feeling like I ruined us. Our perfect relationship, everything we built…”

I lift my head and look at him. My sweet, messy man with all his trauma and heartache. I’ll take every broken piece.

“You didn’t ruin anything. But also, our relationship isn’t perfect. It never has been. And despite how much you try to be, you’re not perfect either. That’s okay, because neither am I. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. We’re both messy, complicated humans who bring plenty of baggage and trauma and bad habits that we have to work through. We’re going to fight and struggle and work on ourselves and our relationship a lot, but when we do that work, when we share those broken pieces of ourselves and learn to grow together, webuild something that is perfect. Our love. The love between us is beautifully, messily perfect, and I wouldn’t change any of the hard things that got us here. I love you.”

He rests his hand on my waist as his forehead drops against mine and he lets out a rough exhale.

“I love you too.”

Tears well in my eyes as I look at him. Some color is returning to his cheeks, but he still looks shattered.

“Don’t ever think I’m going to leave you. I know you’re terrified to lose me, but that’s not going to happen. You’re my soulmate. My person. The love of my life. No one sees me or understands me like you. There’s nothing that would make me leave you.”

“Nothing?” he asks with a laugh of disbelief.

“Sure, there are deal breakers in life, but you are not the type of man to do any of those things, so no. Nothing. This is it. You and me. I told you we may not be married, but whenever we get married, nothing will change. I’m all in. And I think I have been since that morning at The Lake Shack.”

He pulls me into his arms and holds me, and I swear I can feel some of the cracks in his heart start to heal.

“I’m all in too. I’m yours forever.”

“Good.”

We hold each other in silence for a long time, letting our love wrap around us and heal some of the broken pieces. There are still plenty of things to talk through and figure out and process together, but as long as it’s together, that’s all that matters to me. We can face anything—wewillface anything that comes our way. And we’ll do it hand in hand, supporting each other the entire time.

After a long time spent wrapped in each other’s arms, I convince Trevor to let me get him some food, then we make our way back to the hospital.

“I need to get Rae to eat something,” Aaron says, running a hand through his hair. He’s on the other side of Trevor and looks exhausted. Which isn’t surprising. Given how deeply today has affected both his wife and his best friend, he’s been busy trying to hold it all together.

“You need to eat too,” I tell him. “Want us to go get something?”

He shakes his head. “No. I want to get Rae out of the hospital for some fresh air anyway. I just have to pry her away from Sarah.”

“Why don’t we go in?” I say. Rae and the girls are in there with her. I didn’t want to join them all because I didn’t want anyone’s attention to fall on me. Sarah deserves their entire focus right now.

“Yeah,” Trevor slowly agrees, though I see his hesitation. He’s wanted to go in and talk to Sarah, but he still feels terrible. Which is all the more reason he needs to talk to her.

“Okay. Thanks,” Aaron says.

We get up and head for the room, but halfway there, I pause and look over my shoulder.

“I need to run to the bathroom first. You go ahead without me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mhm. I’ll be quick.” I kiss his cheek and send him on his way, then find a bathroom.

I don’t need to go, but I know Trevor needs a few minutes with Sarah alone so they can talk.

I let five minutes pass, then slowly make my way toward her room, only to find Trevor walking out of it.

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah. She’s… more herself. She told me to take you home.”

---