Page 9 of The Perfect Love

I swore off love for a bit after Sarah and I ended. I wallowed, uninterested in dating anyone for a while, then swung in the opposite direction and fucked my way through my freshman year of college. Sophomore year I was still hooking up, but more focused on baseball until my accident.

Most of the guys on the baseball team at my old school would’ve given me shit if I hadn’t been. Granted, most of them were pricks, but it’s part of the toxic culture that can come with sports. If we say we want love or a serious girlfriend, we’re pussies. We’re supposed to fuck the nearest girl who’s interested and then discuss those girls in the locker room.

That kind of toxicity is one thing I’m happy to be done with because none of that ever settled right with me, and it’s not what I wanted. It’s also why I never became close with most guys on the team—the ones I got close with were both quieter and in relationships. Most of the guys were only good to party with, and that got old fast. Even my former roommate—who I thought was a good friend—was like that, and ditched me as soon as he found out about my accident.

That’s all part of why I decided to come to SUNY Finger Lakes with a horde of my friends.

Coming out of one of the darkest seasons of my life, I wanted to be surrounded by people I trust and respect, who will support me while I figure my shit out—and on my bad days.

Everything I’ve gone through recently was a reminder of what really matters and who I am. That’s a guy who thought he found the love of his life, the girl he was going to marry, at thirteen years old. Iwantedthat to be the case.

It’s ingrained in me. I like caring for other people. I like being in a relationship. There’s nothing like the connection of loving someone and having them love you back.

Maybe it makes me a sap.

Pathetic.

Even naive.

But if last year forced me to do anything, it was to accept what I want out of life and go for it. I have more clarity about what I want for the future, and while I’m not expecting my perfect love to magically appear, I’m choosing to live my life and actively work toward the things I want.

I lost a piece of the future I thought I’d have, but I didn’t lose everything, and more importantly, I refuse to lose myself.

3

Sparkly Rom-com Journey

Trevor

I walk down thestairs of the lake house and into chaos.

Not surprising when I live with this many people. Surprisingly, I haven’t heard any of them fucking yet, so the walls must be nice and thick.

When I round the stairs into the kitchen, my eyebrows shoot up.

Miles has Joel in a headlock, while Aaron leans against the counter, sipping on coffee like nothing else is happening. Mackenzie—who we all call Mackie—is sitting on the kitchen island, tossing little pieces of bacon at Amanda for her to catch in her mouth.

I go straight for the coffee pot. Aaron makes the best coffee.

I’ve barely poured my cup when Amanda calls out from behind me.

I spin around as a piece of bacon flies toward me. I lean forward and catch it in my mouth with ease.

“How did you do that? I’ve caught like two in ten minutes.”

“Baseball player.”

“Didn’t realize you catch balls with your mouth.” Mackie grins. “I’m sure there’s a sex joke in there somewhere.”

I take a spot leaning against the counter next to Aaron, who is laughing, then I look around. “Hold up, where’s your fiancée?”

I tease him with the word because he’s been extra obsessed since they got engaged a few months ago.

“She and Sarah left early this morning. I’m riding in with Joel.”

“And did you have to have your faces surgically separated?”

“You’re hilarious.”

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