Page 56 of The Perfect Love

“Okay?” Joel asks.

“I, uh… haven’t been on a field since my accident. What if it doesn’t feel the same?”

Aaron smiles. “What if it feels better?”

“Or what if it feels like having fun with your friends and remembering why you loved the game in the first place?” Miles asks.

Fuck it.

I step onto the grass.

And…

I start laughing.

“What’s happening?” Miles asks.

“I think he’s broken,” Joel says.

I stop laughing suddenly. “No. Sorry. I just—wow. I really built that up in my head, all to feel… nothing.” And then I’m laughing again. “This isn’tField of DreamsorAngels in the Outfield. Why did I think this was going to be some massive moment?” I’m an idiot.

Aaron claps me on the shoulder. “Good to know we haven’t lost you.”

My laughter finally fades, and I look around the stadium.

Good to know I haven’t lost this.

It’s still the same. Same comfortable feeling of coming home. Like I know my place out here, and right now, I’m realizing that has nothing to do with third base or the batter’s box and everything to do with this place being a part of me.

Because of my dad. He’s the reason for all of it. Baseball has a piece of my soul because of him. It grounds me because he taught me to let my pain and my fears drift away on the field. It brings me comfort because of every game of catch he played with me, every time he cheered me on, and every game we watched together where he taught me about the skill, mechanics, and camaraderie of the game. It’s a safe place because of thefriendships he taught me to build here. I look over at the guys. The friendships still standing today.

I blink back tears.

I’m going to be okay.

The words sound in my head, but not in my voice. In my father’s.

Maybe that’s why this is the first time since my accident that I’ve believed them.

Miles steps closer and rests a hand on my shoulder. “Let’s enjoy this. It’s been too long since we’ve been together out here. Let’s have some fun.”

Aaron pitches. Miles catches. Joel and I take turns batting, then we switch it up again. Miles bats. Joel does a terrible job as catcher. Aaron lets me pitch.

They tease me about being crushed out on Chelsea—it’s not like they’re wrong.

And when I hit a ball way into left field and run the bases, I reconnect with the part of me that loves the game for what it is, and I let go of the loss.

Playing professional ball could’ve been amazing, but it would never have been what made baseball special. Knowing I haven’t lost that gives me peace I’ve been craving for months.

The guys surround me when I get to home plate, and Miles asks, “How did that feel?”

“Awesome.” I glance between them, and Aaron’s bright smile makes me realize something. “Coming here wasn’t just for Miles, was it?”

Aaron shrugs, smile growing. “Sometimes we all need a reminder of why the game’s important to us. But this is also a reminder that if you’re struggling, we’ve got you.”

“Thank you. I’m lucky to have you guys.” I clear my throat. “And I’ve hit my deep emotional quota for the day. Wanna grab lunch before we head back to the lake house?”

“Yeah. We can pick up stuff for the girls too,” Joel says.

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