Page 40 of The Perfect Love

I tilt my head back and forth. “Not in a sense of wanting her to be my mom, but because I’m curious about who she ended up becoming. I hope she found her place and is happy.”

He looks back at the sky, and I find myself moving closer to him. I imagine it’s strange for him to hear me talk about my mother in such a detached way, when I’m certain he’d give just about anything to have his dad back.

Slowly, I reach down and twine my fingers with his. “Is it hard for you to talk about your dad?”

He’s quiet for a moment, then shakes his head. “Not exactly. I like talking about him—keeping his memory alive.”

“Tell me about him.”

“He was the best dad in the world. My literal hero. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing, I wanted to be there, doing it with him. He was funny and kind. He loved to see people smile and laugh. He loved sitting in his oversized chair and talking or reading with me—and Hyla too. She was his girl, and he considered her his daughter.” His voice thickens with emotion. “And he loved my mom. Worshipped the ground she walked on. Truly, he’d have done anything for her. He set the example of what a man should be. Not just a provider. A caretaker.”

“We haven’t known each other long, but I can see the threads of that in you.”

A hint of a smile ghosts his otherwise melancholy expression.

“I try really hard to be the sort of man he’d want me to be and make him proud. He valued his friends and family and the time he spent with them. I don’t think anyone ever had a bad word to say about him. He died—” He clears his throat and shakes his head. “Sorry. Talking about how my dad died is probably too heavy for a first date.”

I meet his gaze and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

He stares at me for a moment. “I want to be able to talk about it.”

“Then tell me. This date is what we make it. We don’t have to follow whatever stupid rules society sets.”

This time I get a little more than a hint of a smile.

He nods and squeezes my hand back. “He was an electrician. He worked for the state, usually on construction of new projects. There was an accident on the job site—some kind of negligence, actually—and that was it. He was gone. And we ended up with a shit ton of money that was supposed to make up for the fact that someone made a mistake somewhere along the line and took my dad from me. Thing is, he wouldn’t have wanted us to be mad at the other person. That wasn’t him. I’m not sure where I got my temper or my grumpiness from, but I don’t think they were from him.”

“Your mom?” I ask.

He laughs. “No. She is a light. I wouldn’t have made it through all that without her. She always says, ‘Don’t forget to smile.’ I try to hold on to that. Not just the words, but her energy in them.”

“I like that. I might need to remember it too.”

He leans in and runs a hand through my hair, playing with the strands like he did the night we met. “She’ll like you.” His eyes drift to the sky again, then he smiles and with a playful tug of my hair, flops onto his back and points up at a cloud. “Saggy, baggy elephant.”

And just like that, all the heaviness washes away.

We settle into a lighter conversation, and when we’ve had our fill of snacks, Loganberry, and watching the clouds, we walk through the weaving paths of the park, hands entwined.

“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?” he asks me, that sweet smile dancing on his lips.

“An empowerer of women.”

“I like that. No idea what it means.”

I laugh. “I don’t know. I want to work as a counselor or therapist of some sort, but my biggest focus is wanting to champion women. To give them a safe space and help them grow and rise and be the biggest, best versions of themselves. We’re told to make ourselves smaller all the time, in every way. I want every woman to take up the space she rightfully deserves.”

“You picked a good first friend at SUNY FL.”

“You?”

He laughs. “I am an excellent choice, but I meant Rae. All the girls. They’re a tribe. They support each other and always want to empower each other. You fit right in.”

I think I’d like that. I don’t say that though. It sounds more insecure and maybe even pathetic than I want to come off on this date, so I blow past that sentiment and turn the focus back to him.

“So, what areyourplans?”

“Something involved with athletics. I’ve always loved being active and as someone who isn’t great with school or sitting still for long periods of time, I like the idea of working in that field. Maybe with kids. I’m not sure yet, but the idea of helping to develop athletic programs sounds interesting.”

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