Page 193 of The Perfect Love

Everything hits me at once, and I’m so overwhelmed, I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams. I make a beeline for the elevator, but Amanda grabs my arm.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“Just need some air.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’m okay,” I croak, making it clear that I’m anything but. Either way, she lets me go, and I go right to the elevator, doing everything I can to keep myself from falling apart.

When I get outside, I realize I have no clue where I’m going, so I look around. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the small park across the street. A small park with a little baseball field. And like my feet have their own minds, I’m going that way without a thought.

Thankfully, there’s no one at the little baseball diamond when I get there and plop down on one of the four-tier metal bleachers, letting my head drop into my hands.

The wind off the lake whips around me, sending a chill through me, but it’s nothing compared to the cold ache inside me.

Everything is so fucked up, and all I keep wishing is that my dad was here. That I could talk to him. He’d have had an answer or just the right reassuring words. Even if they were the same words someone else said, I’d believe them coming from him.

If I were back home, I’d be sitting in the cemetery talking to his headstone, but this is the best I’ve got.

I look out at the baseball diamond, my eyes going to right field.

“Dad, I don’t know if you can hear me. Anyone walking by would probably think I’m crazy, but I just… I miss you. Everything’s messed up right now, and I feel like it’s all myfault. Or at least like I’ve made things worse.” I sniff and wipe my face. “I wish I could hear your voice. Feel your hand on my shoulder. Feel the strength and warmth of one of your hugs. I’m so angry. There’s all this rage burning inside me and everything that happens adds more fuel to that fire. I don’t want to be that way. It’s not how you raised me. But then I don’t think you’d be particularly proud of me right now.”

“I disagree.”

I whip around and stare in disbelief at the sight of Chelsea walking toward the bleachers.

Chelsea

Trevor looks unbelievably broken, and it has me terrified about what’s happening with Sarah.

When I got back to my family’s house after Amanda’s phone call, I packed the handful of things Robbie had brought for me, ready to get to Old Lake Town as fast as possible before realizing my car wasn’t there. Then I had to get Robbie, wait for him to pack all of his stuff, and endure a three-hour car ride. My phone lost service halfway here and decided not to find it again—that’s tomorrow’s problem—which meant I haven’t had any updates on Sarah for hours.

Robbie was about to turn into the hospital parking lot when I saw someone sitting in the bleachers, and I knew it was Trevor. Robbie crossed three lanes of traffic and I practically jumped out of the car.

“Chels?” Trevor asks, eyes full of tears.

My eyes are locked on his as I walk toward him. “I think your dad would be proud of you. You keep standing up and fightingfor the people you love. You keep going even when things are hard. No matter how often you play the grump, you never actually become bitter. He’d be proud of that.”

He stares at me, unconvinced. “I don’t know how.” Then he shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“Where else would I be? I was planning on coming back today, but I hauled ass to get here when Amanda called.”

“But… here. Not the hospital.”

“I saw someone sitting on the bleachers, and I knew it was you. Is Sarah okay?”

He scoffs. “Okay is a relative term, but she’s awake and yeah… okay.”

“Are you okay?” Because something is very wrong.

“Probably not. But some of that depends on why you’re here. If you’re going to break up with me—”

“Break up with you?” I nearly screech in disbelief. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I…”

What is going on? Does he think I’m angry at him for defending me?

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