Page 142 of The Perfect Love

“Don’t ever fucking do that again!” I sink back into my chair as my emotions overwhelm me. I’m still so on edge that it happened and now it’s mixing with relief. I can barely breathe.

But then I hear her crying too.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so—”

I lunge forward and throw my arms around her, hugging her as tightly as I can.She’s still here.

“I love you. Do you hear me? I fucking love you. Do not—do not ever do that again because I need you. I have lost enough. I’ve lost enough, and I cannot do this without you. I can’t. I don’tcare what I have to do to get it through your thick skull that my life will be a much shittier place without you, so don’t you fucking leave me. Do you understand?” My voice breaks. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t. I promise I won’t. I’m sorry. I fucked up. Everything is so broken. I need—I need help,” she says into my shoulder. “I need so much help. I don’t know where to go from here, but I need help because I can’t do it alone.”

Thank fuck.

I slowly stand and wipe my eyes as Mom sits down on the edge of the bed with fierce determination in her eyes.

“That’s exactly what you’re going to get.”

The doctor is talking with Hyla and Mom, plans are being made, and Hyla seems better. Better than she was last night, at least.

But I’m not better.

I’m not okay.

I called Sarah as soon as we got to the hospital, and she rallied the troops. Nick got here first, but everyone else has been filing in. I’ve just finished explaining the gist of what happened—as best I can when I want to cry and throw up—when the elevator at the edge of the waiting room opens.

The first thing I see is her auburn hair, then Chelsea is pushing her way through our friends, and the dam inside me breaks. She throws her arms around me, and I bury my head in her neck, holding her tight, her body molding to mine. Everything inside me shatters as I melt into her. Finally, I have her in my arms. I’m safe. Like the world can’t get me as long as I have her.

Somehow, she guides me over to one of the double chairs and pulls me onto it with her. She curls up against me, still holding me close.

“This has been the worst day of my life,” I mutter.

All Chelsea does is run her fingers through my hair.

“I thought she was dead. I really thought—I should’ve taken her to the mental health unit last night, but I thought me being there would be enough. I was wrong. I—”

“Breathe,” Chelsea whispers. “She’s here. She’s going to get the help she needs. And she’s going to have a lot of support while she does.” Chelsea looks around the room. “So will you.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Of course you do.”

“I just need you.” I drop my head against her shoulder again, her hands soothingly rubbing my back or playing with my curls.

“You’ve got me. Always.”

She moves closer, like she’s trying to wrap herself around me, protect me.

There’s no protecting anyone today.

Chelsea

When Trevor called me this morning, my heart nearly stopped. Then I jumped into action. I packed a bag so fast I realize now I forgot underwear, and ran out of my house in my slippers, shouting fragmented sentences at my dad, stepmom, and gran. Gran chased me out of the house and threw some money and a pair of sneakers in the back of my car before I drove off.

Trevor is rightfully a mess, but I don’t think I’ve seen the worst of it yet. I can feel him holding it in. While he let out some of it when I first got here, I see him actively pushing it all down. As usual, he’s trying to hold it together for his mom and for Hyla. Though he did tell me he broke down a little with her, I’m guessing he was still restrained.

I finally got him to eat a little something. Now he’s with his mom, talking with Rae’s grandparents, who brought some food. I take the opportunity to sneak down to Hyla’s room. I saw her briefly earlier when I went in with Trevor and Liz, but a doctor came in so quickly we didn’t have time to talk.

Rae and Aaron are leaving her room when I get there.

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