Page 89 of Beached Wedding

Because she knew how hard it was hitting me.

The server came to ask if we wanted another round of drinks. We both nodded enthusiastically.

“When I got this job offer,” Izzy said after the woman was gone, “I saw it as another way to go back to being who I’m expected to be. And all of this is literally why I brought up the therapy fund idea with my boss. I wanted to know if our benefits covered counselling. I realized I wasn’t processing who I am as well as I could. Which is also why I was wishy-washy about making my travel arrangements and didn’t fly in until yesterday. It took a while to get in with the doctor I wanted. I had my first appointment on Monday.” Izzy apprehensively waited for my reaction.

“How did it go?”

“Pretty good.”

“Good. But what I’m hearing is that your stomachdoesrot with anxiety.” I pointed a fry at her. “And you’ve been keeping that from me. Unbelievable.” I shook my head with dismay.

Izzy bit back a smile while her eyes dampened. “That’s what I love aboutyou,” she said sincerely. “You’re still my friend even though I wasn’t completely honest with you about why I wanted to go to Oz and left you there to fend for yourself. I’ve been feeling guilty, wanting to explain it all. That’s why I’ve been weird about hanging out. I knew we had to have this conversation, but I’m still not surehowto talk about it. Or how much I want to say. It’s confusing.”

“It’s okay. Truly. I’m really glad you felt like you could tell me. And it’s a good reminder to me that not everything is about me. Everyone has their own thing going on. It’s as if everyone has their own lives and problems,” I said with mock wonder.

“Right?” Izzy picked up her cutlery. “As if we’re each the star of our own story and the rest of the world is our supporting cast.”

“Oh, I never feel like a star. I’m more like a key grip. If I drop a light, it’s all over. Cut! Start again. Everybody is giving me dirty looks.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you’re not important enough to ruin everything.”

“Oh, Joanna. So nice to see you.” I tilted my head in a scold at her.

We shared a grin, but mine faded as quickly as it formed.

“I feel like I screwed up Fox’s life pretty badly without even trying.”

“How? By sleeping with him?”

That and, “By wishing for a chance to see what we could have?”

“You think thatwishingfor a chance to see what youmighthave could ruin his life? You are full of yourself.”

“And sleeping with him,” I admitted with a grimace of guilt.

“Was it consensual? Did you force him?”

“You and I are not going to trade notes.”

“I’m just saying, if it was something you both did, he shouldn’t blameyou. Is he trying to?”

“I don’t know what he’s thinking.” I nudged my phone with its lack of messages. “He went after Shane who wassomad.” My chest filled up with rusty nails all poking this way and that inside my lungs. “It’s not just the house and the business. Shane’s mom and dad are like family to Fox. If they turn their back on him, I wouldn’t blame him for hating me.”

“For God’s sake, why is it all on you?”

“Because I knew we didn’t have a chance at a future. Not the way things are with Shane.” My voice dwindled with the rays of hope I’d been clinging to. “I knew we should have stayed friends, but I.... I wanted to be with him, even if it was only once. I listened to my heart, not my head.” My libido, really. “Now my heart is going to wind up broken.”

“Oh, sister,” Izzy breathed. “Do I hear that.”

Our drinks arrived and we tapped the salted rims.

FOX

Ash still wasn’t answering in her room. She was long gone from the spa, wasn’t at the pool or on the beach. I didn’t know Izzy’s last name so I couldn’t see if Ash was with her in her room. She wasn’t in any of the hotel restaurants and there was no one at the villa when I knocked.

Thatbothered me. My brain leapt to imagining she and her family had checked out and gone to Honolulu, to wait for their flight back to Pine Grove. Maybe she regretted sleeping with me that much. Maybe she was tired of this farce of a week that I’d caused her. Maybe she was rethinking her options, now that Shane had turned up and still wanted to marry her.

Even though neither had claimed to love the other.

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