Page 91 of Beached Wedding

He shook that off, too. “It is what it is.”

And that meant it was bad. My heart scraped the floor, dragging ten feet behind me as I led him to the suite.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked as we entered.

“Nothing to say. Shane wants me dead and his parents are talking about remortgaging their house to buy me out.”

“Oh, my God.” I left my bag on the floor and dropped onto the sofa, head landing in my hands. “I’mso sorry.”

“Are you?” he asked cryptically from where he was standing next to the table, pocketing his phone and key card.

“Yes.” I picked up my heat, appalled he would doubt it. “I never meant for any of this to happen. If you’re thinking I went downstairs this morning planning revenge, no. I absolutely did not. I wanted...” I dropped my head back into my hands, heels of my palms pressing the sting into the backs of my eyes.

“What?” he prompted in a grating voice.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. Everything I want turns to shit. I grabbed one tiny piece of what I wanted and unleashed a fury on you that you’ll never forgive. I am so, so sorry.”

“Ashley.” His voice was suddenly right above me. He almost never said my whole name. I was always ‘Ash,’ the way my family called me. It made him sound grave. It made me feel like I was in deep, deep shit.

It took all my courage to look up at him because I didn’t want to see his anger and blame and disappointment and hurt. I had hurt him and would never forgivemyself.

“Why did you come to my room, then? What did you want? Whatdoyou want?” He searched my expression for something I was too terrified to reveal.

I thought about how I’d walked out of his room thinking that was all I would have with him. All I could have. Because I had learned to keep my expectations low and not reach. But I knew what I wanted.

“I want to love you. A little,” I added quickly, because that already felt too big. Too much stretch. My eyes filled and my chin crinkled.

“And you’re sorry youdid?”

“No. I’m glad we did that, but I’m really sorry I wound up causing— Oh.”

His strong hands took hold of my upper arms and drew me to me feet. “Jesus, Ash. You scared the hell out of me.”

He wrapped his arms around me and nearly squeezed the air from my body. I had been about to fall apart and now he was squishing me back together.

“This has been a hell of a day, not knowing how you felt.” His voice was a deep tremor in his chest. “Thinking— Yes. Love me. God. Please. Do you? Or do you onlywantto?” He drew back to look at me.

“I think I do, yeah,” I admitted miserably, unable to keep my mouth steady. “And I know it might seem like I’m only turning to you because I’m scared to be on my own. I’m not. I’m scared to not have you in my life. That’s been eating me up all week way more than Shane backing out of the wedding.”

“Oh, babe.” He pulled me back in and tucked my head beneath his chin, heart hammering against my cheek. “I felt awful. You weren’t texting me back. I thought you must hate me.”

“For what?” I hugged my arms tighter around him. “All I could think this morning was that I couldn’t say what I wanted because it would put you in a terrible position. I didn’t want you to feel obligated, like I expect you to choose me.”

“I have chosen you. How do you not see that?” He pressed me away again. “I chose you when I didn’t let you leave my room this morning. I didn’t know what to say after, though. I was hoping for more than five minutes to figure it out.” One side of his mouth pulled in a half-hearted rueful grin.

“What are you going to do? Because I’ll get out of the way. I’ll go back to Pine Grove and...” Wait for him? That would be excruciating.

“Is that what you want?” Tension settled into his jaw and his grip slid to my shoulders.

I shrugged under the weight of his hands, but my quivering lips said “No.”

I might love him, but I wouldn’t halt my life for him. Maybe I wasn’t going to Australia as Mrs. Shane Holloway, but I wasn’t going back to being timid Ashley Barnes, afraid to dream big and make mistakes.

Some mistakes were worth making. Even if he and I couldn’t be together or fell apart tomorrow, I was already glad we had this one week between us. It was ours and no one could take it away from me. Not ever.

“Babe. Tell me what you want,” he urged, giving my shoulders a squeeze.

I wanted him to keep calling me ‘babe.’ My mouth flickered with wistful humor.

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