Page 88 of Beached Wedding

“No.” Izzy seemed genuinely perplexed.

I faltered, then decided to wade all the way in.

“I guess I thought you must because you don’t really want to hang out with me lately. Which is fine,” I insisted, holding up a hand. “You live in the city and even I don’t want to be in Pine Grove anymore. I don’t blame you for not coming back or calling. You have a busy career and a life. But that’s what I mean. Youdothings. Mom is all like, ‘Keep your head down and save for a rainy day. Don’t reach too high or you might fall down.’ It’s my fault that I listen. I know that. I thought I was changing by boldly marrying this Australian surfer, then I realized I wasn’t. Not really. I was settling for what I thought was as good an offer as I was liable to get.”

“Oof,” Izzy admonished.

“I know. It sounds awful when I hear myself say it, especially because he’s a really great guy. For someone else.” I took a shaky breath. “Now I don’t know what I’m doing because it turns out that being impulsive and going after what you want without giving a rat’s ass for the consequences has consequences.”

“Imagine,” Izzy tucked her wedge of pineapple into her smile, nodding with sympathy. “I get what you’re saying, though. It’s hard to admit what we want and go after it, especially when it’s something people don’t expect us to want. Orwantus to want.”

“Exactly.” I sighed, relieved to be understood.

Izzy rolled her lips inward, then pushed aside her drink and stacked her forearms before her on the table. She leaned in.

“Ash, I’m bi.”

“Bi...? Bisexual?”

“Bicoastal,” she said dryly. “Yes, bisexual.”

I stared at her, genuinely dumbfounded. After a second, I managed to close my mouth, but my brain was a four-by-six, freshly hung, shiny blank whiteboard.

“I had no idea,” I managed to say. “I mean, obviously that’s cool. We’re friends and I love you no matter what, but I’m feeling really stupid for not even suspecting. You’re so open about how much you’re into guys. It didn’t occur to me that you might like girls, too.”

“That’s called hiding in plain sight.Pleasedon’t tell anyone, especially your family.” For the first time since we were little, Izzy revealed a hint of insecurity.

“Of course not. Not if you don’t want me to, but they wouldn’t judge. I mean, Mom would give you the safe sex talk—again.” I bit my smile, recalling how receptive we’d been the first time she’d lectured us, simply because we’d both got our period that summer.

Izzy snorted with old humor, too.

“But she ran a program at the women’s resource center for years,” I reminded her. “She’s got a modern view on gender and attraction.”

“I know. But my parents don’t know. Neither does anyone at work. I don’t want to be worrying it’ll somehow get to all of those places before I figure out how to tell them myself.”

“I’m one of the first people you told? Thank you for trusting me.” I was genuinely touched. “And I’m sorry your parents are...” I pushed my mouth to the side. Izzy’s father wrote papers for conservative think tank and her mother was very active in their church. “Stuck in their ways?”

“Mom literally tried to set me up on a blind date with an oil lobbyist the last time we talked. I march for climate change.She knows that. But she’s really proud of me for getting that job at the bank.” Izzy lifted her fists in a mini-cheer. “Because it means I can go back to work part time as a teller after I have kids.”

“Oh, brutal.” I had to chuckle. “And there was my mom pretty much taking us for spaying after Whit came home pregnant. Did you ever tell your mom that mine is the one who got you on the pill?”

“Do you want your mother’s car lit on fire? Of course not.”

We chuckled.

“This is why I love you,” I said. “Even when everything feels broken, you make me laugh.”

Our food arrived and we tucked in.

“So...” I asked around a French fry. “Do you have someone special?”

“Besides you?” Izzy asked, flashing me a cheeky grin. “I’m kidding. Don’t get all full of yourself like you’ve won a trifecta or something.”

I had to spit my food into my napkin so I wouldn’t choke on it, I was laughing so hard. I took a deep drink of my slushy margarita, trying to get hold of myself.

“Oh, my God.” I dabbed under my damp eyes with a fresh napkin. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. That I’m irresistible.Pleasedon’t tell me that’s why you invited me to Australia last year.”

“No, that was...” Izzy grimaced before confessing, “I was getting over someone. My firstgirlfriend. I presumed we would move in together and... It didn’t work out. Obviously.” She forced a smile, but her eyes were sheened with old hurt. “So what you saw as me being bold and not giving a shit was standard, post-breakup madness. I wanted to run away from who I was. Fox was... I told myself I was going back to only dating guys. And he’s a great guy. For someone else.” She was mocking me with my own words, but being gentle about it.

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