Page 36 of Beached Wedding

I cleared my throat, tried to keep my inner beast on a tighter leash.

“They were having huge money problems. This was the final straw for Mom. She divorced him, but had to pay off a bunch of the debt he’d racked up on their cards. She got full custody of us and he wasn’t allowed to see us until he went through rehab and started paying support. He didn’t. Not right away. He would bang on the door in the middle of the night, sometimes yelling, sometimes begging us to let him come back. I would be cowering in Mom’s bed and Whitney would be trying to let Dad in the door, convinced everything would be okay if we just put everything back to the way it had been. Mom would call the police and he’d go into the drunk tank for the night. It was really ugly.”

“That’s awful.” I could hardly take it in. “How long did that go on?”

“A few years?”

“Where is he now?”

“In the oil patch. He calls sometimes. The last few times he swore he was sober. I know he feels really bad, but... I don’t know. I don’t really think of him if I can help it. We hardly ever talk about it.” She shoved her fists under her elbows, shoulders hunched. “The whole thing made me really cautious about stepping out of line. Mom plays into it, not that I blame her. Her life was in turmoil and she had two kids to support. Three, once Whitney had Fliss. She comes off as controlling and critical, but she’s trying to keep us safe.”

“I can see that,” I murmured.

“Whit acted out for years. They still fight, which makes me...” She rolled her hand near her stomach. “I don’t like conflict. Bad things happen when you rock the boat, you know? So I’ve spent my whole life terrified to take the smallest chances andI’m so tired of being that way. When Shane asked me to marry him, I didn’t want to regretnotmarrying and moving overseas. He’s a good guy. He drinks, but he’s a cheerful drunk. He gets all sentimental. Never sticks around for a fight. He never once pressured me to do anything?—”

She faltered and looked off into the dark as if realizing she was sharing more than either of us might be comfortable with.

“Cuddles and puddles,” I said mildly. It was what all of Shane’s mates called him when he was hammered and full of hugs, proclaiming he loved everyone.

“Can you imagine if we married? Between Shane’s aversion to hard conversations and my fear of conflict, we would have suffered a thousand cuts before we realized we ought to divorce.” She sounded very sad.

I wanted to touch her, but made myself keep my hands at my sides. “I’m going to say this in case you need to hear it, but I hope you know your father’s behavior is on him. None of that is your fault.”

“Oh, it was my fault,” she said with a creak of agony in her voice. “He told me several times that it was.”

I closed my eyes, but couldn’t close my ears.

“I shouldn’t have fought with Whitney over something so stupid,” she said tiredly, as though she’d heard these words a thousand times. “I should have told everyone it was an accident. I should have said I wanted to see him and not let Mom kick him out, even though he was so angry I was petrified of him.”

“Oh, Ash.” My hands came up and I showed her my palms, helpless before such hurtful acts against someone who was really very sensitive and kind. And she’d been just a kid. So vulnerable. “Come here.”

She stepped into my hug and squeezed her arms around my waist so hard she pushed the breath from my lungs. Her whole body was trembling.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you,” I murmured, rubbing her back and pressing my lips to her hair, trying to press the dark memories out of her while my heart pounded in angry hurt and my closed eyes stung.

“It was a long time ago. I’m being stupid, but I keep thinking that I did something to cause this mess I’m in now. That I wanted too much. Is that why it’s all gone horribly wrong again? Should I go back into my tiny little box and be happy there?”

“It is absolutely not your fault.”It’s mine. I sheltered her as best I could, chest aching.

“Thank you for saying that.” She took a shaky breath and drew back to swipe her fingertips below each of her eyes. “I swore I wouldn’t cry anymore on this trip. Not unless I stepped on a jellyfish.” She forced an over-bright smile.

“You didn’t cry that time when you did.” There was a silver drip on her jaw. I dried it with the edge of my thumb. “You were tough as hell.” So tough and so fragile I didn’t know what to do with her. And I couldn’t seem to stop touching her. My fingers tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before I realized I was doing it.

I deliberately dropped my hands to my sides again.

“Seriously.” She caught one of my hands and brought it to her mouth to kiss my knuckle. “I’m so mad at you I want to scream, but I’m really glad you’re here. Thank you.”

I came dangerously close to hugging her again. I wanted to hold her and hold her and hold her. Never let her go.

Don’t. My heart pounded with confusion, wanting to comfort, but there were lizard-brain instincts that needed to be stomped down, too.

I shifted my grip so our fingers were linked before I reached for the door.

“You still okay to see Sandy? We can check in with them in the morning if you’d rather.”

“I want to see her. It’s going to be painful, but I’d rather cram it into this already shitty day and hope tomorrow is a better one.”

ASHLEY

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