Page 53 of His Highness's Hidden Heir

“I don’t want the guilt of keeping you from something you love.”

“You’re not. I’m making a choice.”

“You’re making a sacrifice.”

“For myson.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t even know what we’re fighting about,” she muttered, leaving her couture clothes on the floor and yanking to tie the belt on her robe.

“We’re fighting about the fact that I stole your life from you.”

“What life?” she cried. “I chose to have him, Magnus. Not because I wanted to be the mother of a king, but because I wanted to be amother. This is not the way I imagined my life would turn out, that’s true, but it’s a very good life. I—” Oh, she would have to say it. “I’m in this life because I love you.”

“Don’t say that.” He winced and looked away.

He might as well have knocked her off the top of the building into the Thames. She sucked in a breath, unable to find words.

“Lex—”

“No,” she choked, holding up a hand. “Nowyou’ve given me a reason to look for fulfillment elsewhere.”

“Let me explain what I meant,” he said tightly.

“Do you love me?” she demanded.

He hesitated and his expression became that stony horrible one that gave away nothing, which finished crushing her heart.

On the monitor, Rolf began to fuss. She snatched it up and headed for the door, thankful that she wouldn’t complete her humiliation by crying in front of Magnus.

He could have called out to her, though. He could have told her to ask the nanny to get their son and stay here to work this out.

He could have fought for her.

But he didn’t.

He let her walk out.

And she was devastated.

He shouldn’t have let her walk out. He should have said,Yes. I love you. I love you in ways I didn’t know I could love.

Because he did. And it made him feel as though he was being boiled alive.

From the time Sveyn had talked to him about sacrifice and selfishness, Magnus could only see himself as selfish where Lexi was concerned. He had wanted her from the moment he spotted her. He had balked at being told he couldn’t have her and had found a way to stay in the periphery of her life even when he shouldn’t have. The very second that he’d had an excuse to drag her into his world, he’d acted ruthlessly to do so.

And he’d been watching her suffer for it the whole time. She might have chosen to carry the pregnancy and become a mother, but she hadn’t wanted the strictures of royal life. She had known their marriage would make her that much more of a target of attention, especially the negative kind.

Magnus had countered all of those downsides with his own rationalizations. He protected her. He supported her and the child they’d made. He gave her as much physical pleasure as they could bear. He had given her a family, such as his was, to replace the one he’d cost her by exposing their treachery.

Then, tonight, Magnus had seen for the first time that she did have a family she loved. A life where she was welcomed and celebrated. Her childhood friend had put carefree laughter into her eyes, if only for a few moments.

A ferocious tightening had sat in his chest while Magnus had watched them. Their connection had been similar to the way Freyr still hugged Dalla sometimes. It had struck Magnus as too similar. Had he broken her away from a place where she felt loved and accepted? Why? So she could live inside the boundaries of his life and still suffer the anguish of what strangers said about her?

When she asked if he loved her, he couldn’t see how telling her would help. It wouldn’t change anything. It would only make her feel obligated to accept this life he’d forced her to take on.

That’s why he’d told her not to say it. If she loved him, it meant she would keep making sacrifices for him. He didn’t want that from her. He wanted her to thrive. He wanted her to be the delightful force he knew her to be, with her strong personality and her cheeky remarks and her way of leading with her heart no matter how many times she’d been disappointed by those around her.

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