Page 258 of Heat of the Everflame

It was the first time either of us had spoken in the hour since leaving the palace. After I’d healed Sorae’s wounds, Luther had silently pulled me against him and held me close, somehow sensing I needed his touch and time to sort through my turbulent thoughts.

“If it makes you feel better, she got me first,” he grumbled.

I looked back to see his shirt torn at the shoulder and soaked in dark red. “You should have told me,” I scolded, pushing my healing magic into his skin.

His eyes closed briefly with a contented hum. “Alixe won’t have access to a healer. It seemed only fair I suffer, too.”

I sighed heavily and leaned against his chest. Much as I wanted to, I had no ground to lecture him on guilt and self-punishment. Those flaws, we shared in equal excess.

“So you attacked the soldiers in Mortal City, did you?” he teased, his tone lightening.

“It was reckless and wildly dangerous. And it felt amazing.” I grinned. “You would have hated it.”

He huffed a laugh. “I really shouldn’t tell you this...” His mouth grazed a line up the bend of my neck, then nipped at my ear. “I actually enjoy your rampages. A littletoomuch.”

My grin spread wider. I opened up my thoughts to him and pulled the memory to the forefront, letting him hear my impassioned speech and feel the fire of my devotion to the mortals, then letting him bask in my vengeance as I provoked the soldiers into their embarrassing defeat.

A dark laugh rumbled from his throat. His hand slid low on my hips as his fingers circled in teasing strokes. “About that night alone I was promised,” he murmured.

I hummed my agreement and arched my back against him, my hand gripping tight on his thigh. Our mouths met in a kiss smoldering with long-suppressed desire.

He rolled his hips forward, letting me feel every rock-hard inch of the effect my vision had aroused. His touch was deliciously rough as his hand dragged up my body and gripped possessively at my nape.

Our kiss broke, and I leaned in for another. Luther hesitated, pulling back. When I looked up, his eyes were sharp with hunger, but a spark of something more troubled waited, too.

“Do you want to talk about what happened with Henri?” he asked carefully.

My lust cooled to ice.

My back went rod-straight, my muscles rigid. I twisted to face the sky ahead, leaving Luther staring at my back.

“I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s fine. He hates me. It’s... it’s fine.”

“I know you better than that. If he does hate you, you’re anything but fine.”

No, I wasn’t fine at all. Ending our betrothal was always going to strain things between me and Henri, but I’d naively hoped our friendship might endure. Instead, it lay buried tenfeet deep beneath more prejudice, hurt, and resentment than we might ever be able to overcome.

Another painful wound, another permanent scar on my heart.

But as awful as that conversation had been, it wasn’t just Henri’s hatred that haunted me.

Well, make sure you warn him so he doesn’t waste his life pining for a woman who will never fully give herself away. Give him the courtesy you never gave me, and let him leave before you break his heart, too.

I forced down the lump in my throat. “There’s something you should know about me before things between us go any further.”

Luther sat up straighter. His head craned to the side, trying to catch my eye. I kept my gaze locked on the horizon ahead.

“I care about you. Iloveyou. But... I may never want anything more than this.”

“Good,” he said slowly. “I pray I never leave you wanting more.”

I shifted my weight. “Youmight want more. More than I’m able to give.”

A beat passed. Luther’s silence was excruciating.

I cringed and forced myself on. “I’ve never been the kind of person who dreams of weddings and babies and mates. The idea of being tied toanythingforever makes me feel like it’s hard to breathe. I couldn’t be that person for Henri. I’m not sure I can be that for anyone.” My words picked up speed as my nerves grew. “Maybe I’ll change. Sometimes, with you, I want to change. But maybe I won’t. And the last thing I want is to hurt you if you want a piece of me I can never give.”

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