Page 245 of Heat of the Everflame

He was silent for a very long time.

“You were never around,” he said finally, his voice quiet. “You were pushing me away. I thought you were avoiding me because you were too scared to tell me you didn’t really want to marry me. And you were—”

“—a Descended?” I finished for him. “Look me in the eye and tell me your feelings for me didn’t change the second you found out what I was.”

He shuffled his feet, looking down. “Yeah. Maybe. But I did love you, Diem. I really, truly did.” He glanced up. “Did youeverlove me?”

I stiffened. “I... I care deeply for you, Henri. I always will. And... yes—yes, of course I loved you, but...”

“As a friend,” he said. “Only ever as a friend.”

I winced, unable to deny it.

His face turned terribly, heartbreakingly sad. “I wanted to marry you. I wanted to start a family with you.”

“I tried to want that, too. I just don’t think I’m that kind of person.”

“Are you going to be that kind of person withhim?”

I couldn’t answer. That same question haunted my own thoughts.

Henri laughed harshly. “Well, make sure you warn him so he doesn’t waste his life pining for a woman who will never fully give herself away. Give him the courtesy you never gave me, and let him leave before you break his heart, too.”

My hand squeezed around the necklace Luther had given me. A burst of heat spread where my skin brushed the glowing ruby he’d imbued with a spark of his magic. My godhood stirred in recognition, as if sensing his presence nearby.

It should have calmed me. Instead, it planted a seed of fear.

“I hate them,” Henri murmured. His hands were white-knuckled and fisted, his body quaking. “First the Descended took my mother, now they’re taking you.”

“We can still be friends, Henri. I’m not dead.”

“You might as well be dead to me.”

It was more painful a blow than the knife I’d taken in Ignios. I flinched and wrapped my arms around myself as tears slid down my cheeks.

“How can you so easily throw me away?” I whispered.

“You already threw me away.” There was hurt in his voice too, buried deep beneath the anger. “You went off to Lumnos City with all your new Descended friends, and you forgot that I existed.”

“You know that’s not true. Ibeggedyou not to give up on me. I risked my life to convince you I was loyal. And then my father died, and you were nowhere. My world was collapsing, and I was alone.” My words choked between my sobs. “I was so fucking lost, Henri. I needed you. You can’t imagine how badly I needed you.”

His anger seemed to deflate at the sight of my tears. He took a step, his hand twitching in my direction, then stopped himself. “I know. I should have been there.” He took a slow breath and scraped his hand down his face. “But I did try to come see you. You threw me in the dungeon, remember?”

“You came there to kill Descended. Not for me.”

His face hardened. “And if you had let me, maybe Mortal City wouldn’t be overrun with soldiers. Do you know how many mortals have gone missingsince they arrived? It’s not even Guardians—they’re choosing people at random to keep everyone on edge.”

I swore and wiped at my cheeks, desperately scrabbling to pull some strength back into my bones. “I didn’t know. They found a way to keep me off the throne, but I’ll do what I can to stop them.”

“Isn’t the Crown supposed to be the strongest Descended? Why not just kill anyone who tries to stop you?”

“I’m not Vance. I don’t solve every problem with murder.”

He scoffed. “You had no problem murdering mortals in Arboros. Vance told me everything before he left here for Montios.”

“Everything?” I snapped. “Like how he held me down and sliced my wrists open? How I saved his life by sending my gryvern away? How I tried to escape to save my mother, but he and his men chased me down and nearly killed me?”

Uncertainty surfaced on his features. The small part of him that still trusted me was wrestling with whatever lies Vance had fed him.

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