Page 216 of Heat of the Everflame

“No—I had no idea, I swear. I found out from the Guardians who captured me after the attack. I thought it was some man named Vance.”

A selfish part of me wanted to leave it at that, but he deserved the full truth, and I’d been withholding it for too long.

I shot a quick glance at Remis, Avana, and Lily and lowered my voice to keep them out of earshot.

“But I did know Mother was alive,” I admitted, grimacing. “I didn’t know where she was, only that she was likely safe.”

He blinked, then drew back. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I was worried she’d never come home. I didn’t want to give you false hope.”

“False hope?” he shot back, yanking his hands from mine. “Like the kind you’re giving everyone here about Luther?”

I flinched.

His voice began to rise. “Did you know the whole time? Was all that searching we did for her just pretend?”

“No! Gods, no. I didn’t know for months. Luther only told me after I became Queen.”

“Luther?” he shouted. The others started looking our way. “How in the Flames didheknow?”

“He’s the one who took her to the island. They were... working together, in a way.”

“Workingtogether?Was he a Guardian, too? Wait...” He staggered back a step. “You said you thought their leader was named Vance. How could you possibly know that, unless you...?”

I didn’t dare admit it aloud, but the answer was plain on my face. My silent plea for forgiveness was met with a glare of betrayal.

“I stood by you the entire time, Diem. I did whatever you asked of me. I was grieving Mother and Father, my life was falling apart, but I put it aside—to helpyou. And the one thing you could have done to help me, you didn’t.”

His words hit like a punch to the gut. I reached for him, and he jerked back.

“You’re just like her,” he snapped. “Keeping secrets. Lying. Using me. You’ve been so angry at Mother all this time, but you’re just as bad as she is.”

“Tel, I’m so sorry. I know I was wrong. I should have told you. I was only trying to—”

He stormed for the door. Lily popped to her feet, her gaze darting between us. He breezed past her into the parlor and she ran after him, calling his name. Moments later, I flinched as a door slammed on the other side of the suite.

Shame and guilt towered high over my head. So many mistakes, so many rash choices, and the people who had paid the price were the ones I loved most. I buried my face in my hands as dark, vicious thoughts hissed in my ear.

Blood on your hands, corpses at your feet.

You’re going to get everyone killed.

You’re a selfish, reckless fool.

You don’t deserve to be Queen.

No one believes in you. The only one who did is about to die—all because of you.

A pair of arms timidly wrapped around my waist. I stiffened and dropped my hands to see Lily embracing me, her head resting on my arm.

“He’ll forgive you,” she said, her voice soft but confident. “Whatever happened, Teller loves you, and he thinks the world of you. You’re his hero.”

“I’m not sure that’s true anymore,” I whispered.

“Is there anything Teller could ever do to makeyoustop lovinghim, or make you think less of him?”

“No,” I conceded. “But I kept secrets from him. Big, important ones. Ones he deserved to know.”

---