Page 180 of Glow of the Everflame

“That never stopped you before.”

He snorted, then tossed his sword to the side, letting it clatter to the ground. “Land another punch and I’ll tell you.”

I threw my blade down and cracked my knuckles with a devious smile.

We both fell into a fighting posture, fists raised to our chins as we circled each other with matching sets of narrowed eyes.

Taran was indeed a good fighter. A great fighter, in fact. He’d been trained extensively in every aspect of defense, from magic to weapons to physical combat, and unlike most men his size, he rarely relied on his brawn to gain the upper hand.

But for all his prowess, Taran also had one glaring weakness.

“Any day now,” he taunted, spinning smoothly on his heels as I bobbed around him.

I held my tongue—biding my time.

He jerked toward me a few times in an effort to provoke me to act, but I kept up my slow rotation.

Watching. Waiting.

“Are you going to just hop around like that or are you going to throw a punch?” he pushed.

Still I waited.

His grin took on a devilish slant. “Maybe you don’t want to know. Maybe you’re running fr—”

Thwack.

Taran’s head snapped to the side as my knuckle connected with his jaw. He staggered backward in surprise, then lost his balance, tumbling onto his back on the stone floor of the dungeon.

I clicked my tongue disapprovingly. “On my first attempt. How embarrassing for you.”

He winced and rubbed his face. “Fine. I deserved that, too.”

“Well?” I stood over him with my hands on my hips. “What’s the big secret, then? Why can’t I use my magic?”

He let his limbs go limp and patted the ground next to him in an invitation to sit. I rolled my eyes but gave in, curling up at his side.

“Do you remember when Alixe said the godhood is tied to our emotions?” he asked.

I nodded and pulled my knees to my chest, already apprehensive about where the conversation was headed.

“Well, in order for the godhood to feed off of our emotions, we must actuallyhaveemotions. And you don’t. Not anymore.”

“Taran, my mother is missing, my father is dead, my brother’s in danger, and I’m probably about to die. Believe me, I have no shortage of emotions.”

“Maybe somewhere in there, but you’re not letting yourselffeelthem.” He shook his head sadly. “When you got here, you were full of life. You laughed, you cried, you flirted, you got angry. You threatened Luther within an inch of his life. You threatenedhalf of Lumnoswithin an inch of their lives. When’s the last time you’ve done any of that?”

I hugged my legs tighter and rested my chin on my knee, staying silent.

“I’ve been trying to pick a fight to get something out of you, but you won’t even be angry with me. The moment you start to feel anything real, you shut it down.”

“I just... I need more time,” I mumbled.

“I know.” He reached over and grabbed my hand, wrapping it up in his calloused palm. “But you don’t have time, Queenie.”

I sighed and stretched out on the cold floor beside him, closing my eyes as I laid my head back.

As I had done every day prior, I tried to conjure up some tendril of feeling, some well of anger or sadness that might provoke the godhood into action. It felt like sticking my hand into a firepit—I could sense the dangerous warmth that lay within, but the moment my mind began to register the pain of it, I was jerked back to the cold safety of numbness.