Page 187 of Glow of the Everflame

And the doubt he had sown in me toward Luther... my cowering heart had needed a reason to justify running away, and I’d been all too willing to use Aemonn’s lies as an excuse.

A lump rose in my throat.

“We’ll resign from the Royal Guard, if we have to,” Taran said. “Even the Crown can’t force a Descended to serve against their will. The most Remis could do is banish us from House Corbois.”

“Like he just did to me,” Eleanor murmured, looking shellshocked and a little green. Lily took her hand and squeezed it.

“It’s only two days,” Alixe said emphatically. “Whatever their plans may be, we can survive them for that long.”

Two days.

My head began to throb.

Teller turned to me with a somber look. “Diem, you have to be coronated. If you aren’t—”

“I’m aware,” I snapped. He cocked his head, his eyes squinting in a way that I knew meant he was seeing more of me than I’d wanted to reveal. I turned back to Alixe and Taran. “Where is he?”

They shared a look, clearly knowing exactly who I meant.

“Lumnos City,” Alixe said after a long hesitation.

“Why?”

“For you,” Taran answered with a pointed stare. “To persuade the Houses not to Challenge you.”

I closed my eyes, forcing my legs to keep my body afloat as the world began to swirl around me.

“Diem,” Teller said again, his tone grave. “If you’re Challenged—”

“IsaidI’m aware,” I gritted out. “What about Eleanor?”

“I’ll have her things brought here,” Alixe said. “She can stay in your suite until the Challenging.”

“And if I lose the Challenging—that’s it? She’s really out of House Corbois?”

They all shared a heavy look.

“You can’t lose,” Teller insisted. “That’s all there is to it. You just have to win, or else—”

“I know!” I screamed. “By the Flames Teller, do you think I don’t spendevery gods-damned secondofevery gods-damned daythinking about how many people will suffer if I fail, when failure is the only thing I seem to be capable of doing?”

Teller flinched, staggering back a step.

“Diem,” Eleanor said softly.

I rubbed my temples. “I’m sorry. I—I just... I need a moment.” I turned and fled into my bedchamber, slamming the door behind me.

I paced the length of my room, clenching my jaw as my heart thumped a frantic rhythm.

Two days left.

Two days.

For weeks, the burden on my shoulders had been growing—in size, in heft, in agony. At first, it had driven my momentum, pushing at my back to urge me forward, a reminder of everyone my success could help.

But with every interaction gone wrong, those rocks had grown into boulders, and those boulders had become mountains, steep and jagged and too deadly to scale, the sheer weight of them threatening to bury me alive.

What would happen if I failed? To Teller, to Lily—to all the people I was trying to protect? Would the mortals be kicked out of the realm? Would Henri throw his life away on a suicide Guardians mission? Would my Corbois friends be forever ruined for the crime of thirty days of loyalty to me?

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