Page 50 of Spark of the Everflame

A shade of judgment passed across his features, but he raised his palms in surrender and gave me a curt nod. “Alright. I promise.”

“And I’m not getting a tattoo, either. Unlike you and your friends, I have no desire to get skinned alive when the Descended spot it.”

“Fair enough.” He scoured my body with a heated gaze. “I like your skin the way it is, anyway.”

I arched a brow. “Does your little tree club even take women as members? I didn’t see any last night.”

“Mylittle tree clubis run by a woman.”

“Really?” I straightened. “In Lumnos?”

I could imagine that happening in some of the more progressive realms, but Lumnos and its dated traditions had always been a challenging place for women who wanted something other than being a wife and mother, as honorable as those sacred roles may be.

“Who is it? Do I know her?”

“I can’t say. No revealing anyone’s identity, remember?”

My shoulders slumped. “Would I get to work with her?”

“I hope so,” he said, his eyes softening with some inscrutable emotion. “She is a force to be reckoned with—just like you.”

As we continued our journey, Henri chattered on excitedly with veiled hints about the group and its surreptitious activities, broken by loaded gaps of silence that felt like held breaths whenever another traveler would pass us on the road.

He eagerly recounted missions he’d completed, mostly delivering messages among members within Lumnos or to cells in neighboring realms. He spoke of how he’d been working to persuade his father to let him assist with palace courier duties so he could intercept royal communications, though his father knew enough of Henri’s hatred of the Descended to thus far refuse him.

I listened without comment, remarking how his face lit up with each story. He was so proud, so certain of his path. I knew I should be more worried, perhaps try to convince him away from an activity that could so easily get him killed, but it kindled a hearth in my heart to see him full of joy again. Maybe he needed a purpose as much as I did.

And to be able to share it with each other—maybe that was what we needed to bring us back together and restore what we’d been before my mother’s disappearance.

“There’s something else I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” His voice had changed, reined in by apprehension. “About us.”

I stiffened. Had my thoughts been so obvious on my face?

He took a deep breath and reached across to take my hand in his clammy fingers. “I love you, Diem. The truth is, I’ve loved you my entire life. All the other girls I’ve been with, I was always just biding my time until you were ready to give me a chance.”

My heart tripped over itself. We’d never said those words to each other before. Never even come close.

He looked at me with expectation in his eyes, and my mind became a whirlwind of frantic thoughts.

Did I love him? Yes, of course I did. He was my longest, dearest friend, as close to me as family. But maybe... maybe I didn’t love him like he loved me. Or maybe I did, but the thought of what it might mean—what he might want from me in return...

The sweep of his thumb against the back of my hand felt like sandpaper over my skin. I had to fight to resist the urge to yank it free.

“I know we’re still figuring this out,” he said, gesturing between us, “but there’s one thing I do know. You’re my girl, Diem Bellator. You’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I was hoping you would do me the honor...”

My mouth went dry. “I care about you, too,” I blurted out. “So, so much. And with so many harddecisions in my life to make right now, I’m so happy that I can be with you and just... relax. Without any pressure.”

Shame weighed on my heart. I knew what he was about to say. What he was about toask.

And, like a coward, I was running from it.

A shadow of disappointment darkened his eyes. He nodded and squeezed my thigh as we set back on the path and continued the long trek back to Lumnos. I avoided his gaze the entire way home, but his words—and our future—consumed my thoughts.

ChapterThirteen

Two weeks had passed since our trip to Fortos, and for the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope.

The day I’d returned, I’d burst into the center and boldly announced my decision to take over my mother’s duties at the palace. Although Maura put up a fine enough argument in my mother’s honor, I saw her flood of relief when she finally relented.

---