Page 138 of Spark of the Everflame

“No,” I whispered. Argued. Bellowed. Begged. “You’re wrong. You’re—you’re mistaken.”

“Diem, if you’re scared of the progeny laws—”

“I’m not scared. You’re just... wrong. I feel nothing, and neither do you.”

He pulled back enough to meet my panicked stare, his disappointment so thick I could almost taste it—sour and long since spoiled. With a heavy sigh and sinking shoulders, he stepped away, letting his hands fall to his sides.

“If that’s what you really want,” he said quietly. Sadly.

What you really want...

There was so much I wanted. So gods-damned much. So much I couldn’t have—not without risking everyone and everything I loved. Not without sacrificing myself in the process. But how could someone like Luther ever understand that?

“I... I have to go,” I stammered. “My family...”

His head dipped. “You should know I won’t enforce your mother’s bargain. That’s between her and me. It’s not your burden to bear.”

“But my brother—”

“It’s not his burden, either. He can finish his schooling—I’ll make sure of it.”

Something ached in my chest.

I should have been glad to hear it. Instead, I felt... confused. Too raw and brutally laid-bare. He’d stolen all my certainty with his lips, and now the only thing left of me were questions I wasn’t strong enough to answer.

I couldn’t seem to force myself to leave—and neither could his magic. The tendrils of his potent presence wound around my limbs and hovered, as if yearning to draw me closer, but holding back.

“Be the palace healer,” he said, his voice rough. “Take the role back from Maura. Not because of your mother or the bargain. Because I’m asking you to. Because I need—”

“I’m quitting my job as a healer,” I blurted out.

I’d known it the second I saw the explosions from my kitchen window, but I hadn’t dared admit it until now. Saying the words aloud made them real. Final.

The expression that gripped his features looked so much like that first morning in the palace, when he’d watched Lily collapse in his arms. “What? Why?”

I couldn’t explain to him what I didn’t entirely understand myself. I was overcome with regret over my broken vows and my role in the Guardians’ attack, but it was about more than that.

Something had shifted in my soul. The wind was changing course, pushing my sails on a new, uncertain path, and though I didn’t know how or why, I felt powerless to stop it.

More than that—I didn’twantto stop it.

“It’s something I have to do for myself.”

“Then... I’m not likely to see you again.”

“No,” I agreed. “Not likely.”

He nodded stiffly, his back straightening. As his magic retreated, its wisps traced the contours of my face, my lashes fluttering at its tender touch. Its warm energy clung to my skin until, at the last possible moment, it fell away.

I took a step back, drawing in a deep breath for what felt like the first time in minutes.

“Goodbye, Prince,” I murmured.

He smiled, and it was the saddest smile I’d ever seen. “Goodbye, Miss Bellator.”

I turned and walked away.

When I was almost out of sight, his voice called out again. “You saw it too, didn’t you?”

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