Page 41 of In Bed with a Highland Beast

Alaric rarely experienced true fear. He had been hardened in battle. He had experienced many dangerous things and had often come close to death. And yet, nothing could have prepared him for the kind of fear he felt now, the one that clawed its way all through his guts, tearing him apart from the inside at the thought that he had hurt Lucia.

He couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. She was sitting right next to him and Alaric, like the coward he was, couldn’t even face her.

He could sense her distress, though. When Lucia was furious, she didn’t need to show it or speak about it for everyone in the room to feel it. It was as though a chill had fallen over the table, all the warmth suddenly seeping out of the room.

“Aye,” Alaric said, plastering on the most convincing smile he could muster. This was not the time for him to crumble or give anything away. No matter how much he wanted to avoid this marriage, he couldn’t do anything that would risk insulting Kayla, especially since she had only just arrived. It would be detrimental to the clan and once again, Alaric had to put the greater good above his own desires. “It is a pleasure tae meet ye, Miss Sinclair.”

With the introductions out of the way and the dinner soon finished, the entire party moved to the drawing room, where the servants brought wine and ale for the night. Though Alaric did his best to stay away from Kayla, the moment he took a seat, she went to sit next to him. It was, of course, only natural for her to be close to her betrothed and learn more about him, but Alaric’s guilt settled heavy in his stomach and he couldn’t even take a sip of wine, stomach churning at the mere thought of it.

Lucia, on the other hand, lingered by the large windows that overlooked the courtyard, staying far from the rest of the group. Alaric could hardly blame her. All he wanted was to take her away, to explain to her that he had no other choice but to play this part for now, even if he had no plans of marrying Kayla. But how could he do that when not only his betrothed but also his entire family was there?

“I am glad tae finally meet ye,” said Kayla. She was a beautiful woman and when she smiled, it was enough to make a man’s heart stop—any man’s except for Alaric’s. Had he not met Lucia, had he not fallen for her, then he thought he could have had a happy marriage with Kayla. As it were, though, his thoughts and his gaze kept straying back to Lucia, unable to stay focused. “I feared ye would be a brute. Ye have… quite the reputation,” she added with a shy smile.

“I dae?” Alaric asked a little distractedly, bringing his cup to his lips. He knew that he did. He knew that many people, if not most, found him intimidating and sometimes, that reputation was very helpful.

“Och aye,” said Kayla. “And ye’re far more handsome than I expected as well,” she added with a smile.

Alaric had barely managed to take a sip before choking on it, his eyes widening. He had hardly managed to recover when he heard something slam down and turned to see Lucia wiping spilled wine off her hand from where she had put down her cup forcefully, all but shaking with rage.

“Are ye alright, Miss Donnelly?” Kayla asked, much to Alaric’s chagrin. He would rather the two of them interact as little as possible, but that was no longer an option.

Turning to glare at Kayla, Lucia pulled herself up to her full height, shaking the last drops off her hand. “Quite,” she said, rather sharply. “Dinnae fash about me. Ye can return tae yer… conversation.”

It was no surprise that Lucia was short with Kayla. If anything, Alaric had expected worse, having seen how quick she was to anger, but so far, she had been keeping it under control, if not entirely concealing it. He couldn’t help but wonder how long this attitude would last, though. Alaric could already see that she was reaching her breaking point and he wished the evening would simply come to an end so he could talk with her and try to calm her.

But what can I tell her? What can I say that will fix this?

He doubted there was anything to say at all.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

“When were ye goin’ tae tell me?”

Alaric stood by the door inside his chambers, hovering awkwardly near it, his gaze glued to the floor, his hands hanging limply by his sides. It was a sorry sight, but Lucia didn’t care how regretful he looked or that he was wallowing in guilt. All she cared about was that Alaric had told her nothing about his betrothed and yet he had slept with her and brought her to this castle.

Was he expecting that she wouldn’t find out? How couldn’t she? Surely, he must have known that, Lucia thought, and he still went through with it.

“When were ye goin’ tae tell me?” she demanded again when Alaric said nothing. “When? After ye were wedded? Afore? Never?”

“Lucia…” Alaric started, but then his voice trailed off and he shook his head, remaining silent.

Lucia trembled with rage. She didn’t care if this was painful for Alaric. Whatever pain he may have been experiencing, whatever embarrassment, was nothing compared to the heartache and the humiliation she felt. It speared through her, like a physical wound that left her bleeding and crumbling, leaving nothing left in her to give her strength.

“Ye deceived me,” she hissed, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Ye deceived me an’ ye hid the fact that ye were promised tae another just ye could bed me? How could ye dae that? I thought?—”

Lucia cut herself short. She didn’t know what she thought, if she were honest. Perhaps she thought that she had finally found a decent man and even if they couldn’t be together, then his memory would remain alive in her mind once they parted ways. He could have been a nice reminder that not all people are rotten like she had always thought.

But now it seemed she had been correct in her assumption all along. If Alaric could hide such an important thing from her, then what else was he hiding? What else had he lied to her about?

“I didnae mean tae dae that,” Alaric said, taking a faltering step towards her. “I didnae, I promise ye. I never meant tae hurt ye, Lucia.”

“I’m nae hurt,” Lucia said on reflex, gritting her teeth. She wasn’t going to appear weak in front of him, not now; she refused to and she regretted every single moment of vulnerability she had shared with him. To her, it had all been real; her feelings, the moments they had spent together, all of it coalescing into a reality that was closer to a dream. To him, it had been nothing but a way to pass the time, something to do while he waited to return to his home, his family, his betrothed.

“Alright,” Alaric said, raising his hands in surrender. “Alright, betrayed then. I never meant tae make ye feel like this.”

“I find that very hard tae believe,” said Lucia with a humorless laugh. “Perhaps ye didnae mean tae betray me, but ye didnae think twice about it, either.”

It seemed to have come so easily to Alaric, as though he hardly even knew what he was doing himself. Had he not given any thought to her at all? Had he not cared even a little what effect his actions could have on Lucia?

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