Page 54 of It's Only Make Believe

My cell phone pings, and I take it out of my pocket. It’s a text message from Tia which I almost ignore, but I decide to read it. I also decide it’s time to change her name from Louisa in my contacts list. I almost change it to liar, but I can’t bring myself to do it, and I just put Tia and then I go and read her text.

“Louisa and I have spoken to Enrique. He has calmed down and sees this isn’t your fault and he’s not going to try and get you fired. Also, I had no idea he was personally paying my wages, but he has said he doesn’t want the money back,” her text message says.

I ponder this for a moment. I was going to send Enrique the money myself, but I had no intention of taking it from Tia. She earned every cent of that money, and it should be hers. This gets me to thinking. Personally, I can never trust her again because she lied to my face about her identity. But professionally, she hasbeen such an asset to the team, and I know Karl wants her as a permanent fixture.

The main reason I was holding back from making her a job offer was because we were dating, but now we’re not and if I separate the personal from the professional, I can see that I should do what I can to keep Tia working with the company.

I think for a minute and then I start to write a text back to Tia.

“OK, thanks for the head’s up. I feel like I overreacted slightly throwing you out of the building earlier. Would you be willing to come in tomorrow morning for a meeting with me?”

I hit send before I change my mind and the response comes quickly.

“Of course. What time?”

I text back and tell her nine thirty am and when she texts back thanking me, I don’t reply any more. I wouldn’t say anything further to any other employee at the end of such a conversation and I have to start thinking of Tia as just another employee.

A knock comes on my office door at fourteen minutes past nine am and I don’t know how I feel about it. I have butterflies in my stomach at the thought of seeing Tia again after thinking yesterday I would never see her again, but I have to remain firm and not let her beauty get to me. I take a deep breath and call out for her to come in.

She opens the door, comes in and closes it behind her. She stands in the center of the floor for a moment, and she looks so lost that I want to go to her and hold her in my arms and tell herI’ll be her anchor, that she will never be lost again. But I can’t. I won’t.

She’s wearing a royal blue shift dress and heels. Simple, professional, and on her, absolutely gorgeous. It brings out the blue of her eyes and her white-blonde hair sits on her shoulders, looking even shinier than ever against the darker back drop. Am I really going to just let this girl leave my life? I don’t want to, but I have to. How can I be with someone that I don’t trust to tell me the truth? How can I be with someone who I doubt every time she speaks? It’s simple. I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.

“Sit down,” I say, and she does, sitting on her hands like a child. “Would you like a drink?”

“I could use a triple gin right about now,” she says, and she smiles and despite myself I smile with her. “But no thank you.”

“Then let’s get down to why I asked you to come here today,” I say. “Throughout your time here, you have impressed both me and Karl with your work ethic and your skills. I would be crazy to have you walk away from the company without at least trying to get you to stay.”

“You want me to complete the internship?” she says. “I would love that, because I feel like I’ve let Karl down by not finishing the task he gave me.”

“I don’t want you to complete the internship. I’ve seen enough,” I say. “I’m offering you a full time position on the web development team. If you accept, you can hash the details out with HR.”

“Have you ever offered an intern a position half way through their time before?” she asks.

The question throws me for a second, but I answer it. I shake my head.

“No,” I say.

“Then I must decline the offer. I don’t want any special treatment,” she says.

I shake my head.

“This isn’t special treatment because of what you and I had,” I say. “I’m making this offer because you’re an asset to the company. It’s not just me saying so, it’s Karl too. He was begging me to make you an offer within a few days of you working with him.”

“Really?” Tia says.

“Really,” I confirm. “The only thing that stopped me was because we were dating, and I felt like it might be weird. I planned on talking to you after your internship was up about it, but here we are. And just to further put your mind at ease, if I was basing this off of our personal relationship, I wouldn’t let you within a mile of the company, but basing it purely off your work, the job is yours if you want it.”

Chapter

Thirty-Six

TIA

The job offer from Luke is amazing, but his final words really burst the bubble of excitement inside of me. Not so much the part about him not trusting me based on our personal relationship – I completely get why he would feel that way right now – but the part about how he hadn’t offered me a job because we were dating, which implies he doesn’t date staff, and now he is offering me the job, which makes me think he is pretty much saying there is no hope for us.

For that reason, I want to turn the job down. To tell him that I want that door to be kept open for us, that I will do anything to make him forgive me, but the truth is, I can’t afford to do that unless I want to be homeless. Plus, it would feel like a kick in the teeth to Enrique too who has basically paid my wages for the time I’ve been here to just walk away now.

---