Page 44 of It's Only Make Believe

I didn’t mean to shout at her, but I can’t help it. I do get why she asked, but I also get the impression she only half believes me, and she’s still looking for excuses for Justin’s lies. I can feel my anger rising to the surface and if Justin was here now, I think I would punch the bastard.

Chapter

Thirty-One

TIA

“He’s my friend,” I snap back at Luke when he asks me why I can’t see that Justin is toxic. He isn’t toxic, as I said, he’s my friend, and I really hate the way Luke is constantly judging him. Something obviously happened last night, and Justin obviously thinks Luke was involved somehow, and even if he wasn’t, that doesn’t mean Justin isn’t just genuinely mistaken.

“Oh, open your fucking eyes. He’s not your friend. He is hanging around hoping you decide to get back with him,” Luke shouts.

He doesn’t wait for an answer although I’m already shaking my head when Luke stands up. I really want to believe Luke had nothing to do with Justin’s injuries. I do believe him in fact. But it’s strange that Luke has just said exactly what Justin told me was the reason he beat him up.

Luke storms past me and heads for the door. He throws it open.

“Luke, wait …” I say, standing up, but he ignores me and leaves the office, and slams the door behind him leaving me standing there looking at the space where he stood only seconds ago.

I pushed him too far; I know I did. I should have been a better girlfriend and made it more clear to him that I believed him. As much as I do believe that Justin is my friend and only my friend, and for that reason, I want to defend him, given the choice, I would take Luke’s side over his, and I don’t think I showed that at all during that conversation.

What also convinces me that Luke is telling the truth is the fact that Louisa insists Justin is a creep. She didn’t like him when we were dating, and she didn’t like it when I decided to remain friends with him. When she found out he was in Chicago, she even said she thinks he only moved here because I did, and he wants to get back with me. Maybe there is some truth to it. Is it too much of a coincidence that the two people I am closest to both think the same thing about Justin? Am I somehow blind to his real motives?

I decide to give Luke a couple of hours to cool down or whatever it is he needs to do, and then I will come back this afternoon and apologize to him and make him see I do believe him, and I will stop seeing Justin if that’s what he wants. I won’t lose him over this. I can’t bear the thought of it. I just have to hope that Luke is willing to forgive me.

I get up and leave his office, swallowing back tears. Whatever happens, I am not about to burst into tears at my place of work. I draw the line at that.

I go down to the web development team’s working space, and I sit down and open up my laptop and go back to making the tweaks in the coding I’ve been working on. I force myself toconcentrate only on my work and not let myself get distracted by any of my thoughts of Luke, and for the most part, I manage it, only looking up from my screen to greet Karl and the rest of the team as they come into work.

I’m making decent progress on my task, and I’m glad it’s something I have to really concentrate on and not have a chance to let my mind wander.

“Louisa,” Karl says, and I look up from my screen.

“Yeah,” I say.

Karl laughs.

“That’s like the third time I’ve called your name,” he says.

“Sorry,” I say.

“Don’t apologize for being engrossed in your work,” he says with a smile which I return.

I must have been deeper into my work than even I realized for him to have called me three times, but then again, it’s easy to tune out background noise and still hear your name, but of course Louisa isn’t my name. If he had said Tia, I probably would have acknowledged him the first time.

“Luke wants to see you,” Karl says.

“Ok,” I say. “Thanks. I’ll go along on my lunch break.”

Has he seen sense or is he going to tell me it’s over between us and my internship with it?

“He said it’s important and to tell you to go now,” Karl adds.

“Oh, umm, ok,” I say, and I lock my laptop screen and get up and head up to Luke’s office.

I guess he’s dumping me after all then because if he wasn’t surely, he could have waited until my break and not demanded to see me now. I reach Luke’s office door after smiling in at Mel, and I realize I’m once more on the verge of tears. I look up and blink them away and take a deep breath and then I knock on the door.

“Come in,” Luke shouts.

I open the door and go inside and shut it quickly. If I’m about to be yelled at and dumped and fired, I don’t need Mel to hear every word of it. I don’t know if she knows we’re together even, but I don’t want her to have a front row seat to us ending things. Luke hasn’t spoken yet and I go and sit down because my legs feel unsteady, and I don’t want to embarrass myself by falling down.

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