Page 26 of It's Only Make Believe

Iwas so nervous when I had to come to Luke’s office. When Karl asked me to run the document up to him and that I had to have him look at it personally right now, I came so close to asking him to send someone else. But he would obviously ask why, and other than the truth, I couldn’t think of anything I could say that would sound plausible and not make it look like I couldn’t be bothered to do my job. And I certainly wasn’t about to tell him the truth or have him think I was being lazy.

I suppose in a way though, it’s good that Luke and I are being forced to see each other today. I feel like the longer it goes between us without us seeing each other again, the more awkward it would be. This is bad enough and it hasn’t even been twelve hours.

I really don’t think Luke snapped at me because of Karl’s request. I don’t think Karl would have sent me without a warning if that was something that was likely to happen. I think it’s because he’s pissed off that I kissed him, but he doesn’t wantto seem like he’s being a dick about it. At least he’s apologized now though and is looking over the sheet. Hopefully he will just sign it and hand it back to me and this will be over.

Of course that doesn’t happen though, because it’s Luke and since when has he done anything the easy way. He does read and sign the document, but he keeps it out of my reach while he studies my face. His gaze is intense, and I blush, but I can’t bring myself to look away, it’s like he has me mesmerized.

“You must feel like playing messenger is quite a come down after being let loose on the app,” Luke says when he finally breaks eye contact with me.

His eyes flash with humor and I’m pretty sure he’s teasing me. I like that. It feels like we can just go back to being normal with each other again.

“The joys of being an intern I guess,” I say with an unsure smile. Luke smiles back at me and my uncertainty falls away and my smile widens. “I much prefer the app work though.”

“I would hope so,” Luke says. “When you have a choice of two things, always choose the superior one.”

The way he looks at me when he says it tells me that he is no longer talking about choosing a favorite task, but I have no idea what he’s referring to, and there’s no way I am going to ask him and risk this rather precarious normalcy between us fading back away into awkwardness. I don’t want to just ignore what he has said either and I choose to answer in the way I would have this time yesterday. That feels safest.

“But what if I choose the option that I feel is superior and other people think I chose the worst option?” I say.

“Well, I think most people would say follow your heart. Me, I say make sure you make the right choice, and no one will disagree with you,” Luke says.

“And do you disagree with me? Do you believe running errands is better than web development work?” I say.

“Maybe not running errands per se, but you get to come and see me so there’s that,” he says.

“Yes, that does make it a little bit tougher. But tough enough? I’m not sure, because I could choose web development work and then see you in the pub again,” I laugh.

“Good point,” Luke says. “But what if your boyfriend wants to see you the same night that I want to take you to the pub? Who do you choose then?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend, so I can’t really answer that one. I guess I could think about it hypothetically,” I reply.

“I saw you,” Luke says, and the gentle playfulness has gone from his voice as he looks at me with the piercing gaze I can’t look away from once more. “In the lobby this morning.”

I have no idea where he is going with this or how the conversation has jumped here, but then I remember. I had breakfast with Justin this morning, and he insisted on walking me to work. Not just to the door either, but to the elevator.

“Ah, then I guess you saw me with Justin,” I say. “He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a friend.”

Should I mention the fact he’s my ex-boyfriend? I decide not to. It’s not at all relevant and I’m not lying. Justin is my friend now and nothing more.

“That’s good,” Luke says.

“Is it?” I say, barely able to breathe as I stare into Luke’s eyes.

“Yes. Because you are going to be mine. And you having a boyfriend would complicate that,” he says.

What do I even say to that? On the one hand, I feel like I should object to him claiming me like I’m some sort of object, but on the other hand, hearing him say I am going to be his like it is a foregone conclusion makes my pussy dampen and makes me want him all the more.

Ok, so I won’t do a feminist rant, but I have to say something. He’s obviously waiting for an answer, and I’m just sitting herestaring at him. His desk phone rings and breaks the moment and Luke looks away from me finally and I can move and think and function again.

He slides the sheet of paper for Karl back across to me as he takes the call, and I realize I’m being dismissed. I get up and leave Luke’s office and as I close the door gently behind me, I feel my face break into a smile that is so big it hurts my cheeks. I feel like dancing and singing and screaming in delight. But I try to reel myself back in, because I can’t be reading this correctly, can I? I must have misheard or misunderstood, because surely there’s no way Luke just announced I am going to be his.

And even if he did, nothing has changed. I still can’t do it. I’m still hiding my identity. But then again, if he insists on us being together right now, then when the internship is over and I come clean, can he really blame only me? It’s like he said about his business. It’s all about timing. It’s the wrong time for me to tell him I’m really Tia, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong time to give myself to Luke completely. After all, what is a name when I’m willing to give him my body, my mind and my soul?

Chapter

Nineteen

TIA

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