Page 7 of Midnight Surrounds Us

I groaned into my phone. “Who gives a crap? I haven’t sold a book in three days. I’ll just put up the ‘Pop a squat, I’ll be right back’ sign. No one will care.”

“Aubrey—”

“Please, Roxi,” I whined. “I need a drink.”

“Okay, bestie. Be right there.”

“What the hell is that?”I asked, pointing to the two six-packs of hard lemonade sitting on the front seat of Roxi’s truck when she picked me up half an hour later.

She lifted one and reached behind her to set it on the back seat. “You said you needed a drink, but, girl, it ain’t even noon. So I compromised. You get your drink, but we’regoin’to bookclub. If you’re havin’ a bad day, you need the whole group. Not just me. We’ve all got your back.”

Grabbing the second six-pack, I plonked my butt in the seat and set it in my lap. “Fine.”

As I clicked my seatbelt into place, Roxi hit the gas. “What’s got your nipples in a twist today? The twins gettin’ in trouble again?”

“No. Well, probably, but if they are, I don’t wanna know about it.”

“So what then?” Roxi flipped her newly highlighted waves over her shoulder and wiped a finger under her lined lip.

She was on the hunt for a man, so she never left her house without a full face of makeup and her hair teased and twisted into soft, beachy waves. Too bad there wasn’t a beach in sight or an eligible guy over the age of thirty for fifty miles in any direction. Wisper, Wyoming was the small-town equivalent of a cellular dead zone—nobodygot a signal—but at least with Roxi around, I didn’t have to endure my forties and fast-approaching fifties alone.

“It’s nothin’. I’m just… God! I’m sick of myself. I’m sick of my life, and I’m sick of complainin’ about it.”

“So, do somethin’ different. Take a chance.” She peeked over at me. “I saw Rye Graves this mornin’.”

Rubbing at a dirty spot on my jeans, I licked my thumb and tried to scrub it out. “Oh, yeah?” Fuck, was that oatmeal? It was dried and crusty and looked like baby puke.

She scoffed. “I know you saw him too. I was catchin’ up with Abey at the station before you called. We saw him and Devo go for coffee at the café, and then they walked right by your shop on their way back. He came to town to see his uncle again. That’s why you called me, right?”

“What? Why are you and the sheriff spyin’ on Rye Graves? And no, that’snotwhy I called.”

The knowing smirk on her face made me want to stick out my tongue at her. “Sure about that? Listen, we’re officers of the law. We have to keep ourselves apprised on the people of Wisper. You can’t be mad at us about that.”

“Sure I can,” I said under my breath. “My bad mood has nothin’ to do with thatkid, who by the way, doesn’t live in Wisper, so I dunno what you’re apprisin’ yourselves of. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t give Rye freakin’ Graves a second thought.”

Roxi rolled her eyes. I hadn’t fooled her, and even I could hear how testy I sounded.The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

“Kid? He’s in his thirties. And maybe not him, but I bet his ass in those jeans gets lots of your thoughts.”

“No, it doesn’t,” I argued. “And he’s a hell of a lot younger than me, so he’s a kid. He’s Tommy’s best friend’s little brother. I’ll always see him as a kid.”

“Yeah, well thatkidhas a hard-on the size of Wyoming for you, and you know it. I’m not tryin’ to be a bitch, but Tommy’s gone. It’s been a long time, Aubs. And Rye’s brother may’ve been Tommy’s friend, but he doesn’t even live around here. Who cares?” She shook her head, and her hair tumbled over her shoulder again. She tucked it behind her ear. “I’m bustin’ my ass here, lookin’ for any man I can find with a job and a half-decent personality, and you’ve got the perfect specimen breathin’ down your neck. I don’t get it.”

When she parked in front of the library, she shut off the truck. “Seriously, why won’t you give him a chance?”

Because! Because he’s a baby compared to me. And because people would talk. I’ve had enough gossip in my life. I was the focus of the town gossip before Tommy died because I was a doormat to him, and after, everybody talked because I didn’tgrieve him the way people thought I should. And the twins never help the situation with all the trouble they get into.

And because I’m scared.

I’m terrified to let someone into my life who sees me as a woman. Not a mom. Not a widow. Not anoldwoman.

Just a woman.

Because then maybe they’d see that I’m not. If you don’t have a uterus, if your body quits doing all the things that made you a woman in the first place, are you one, really?

And besides, my boys would probably sacrifice me at their father’s alter if I dated some young cowboy. They’d never be okay with it.

“Dammit, Roxi, because… because technically, he hasn’t said a word to me in months, and I— You know what? Because I said so. That’s why.”

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