Page 53 of The Backup

“I wasn’t,” I insist, even though we both know it’s a lie.

He shifts closer, his smile softening as he reaches out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to freak out, you know.”

“I’m not freaking out,” I say quickly.

“You’re totally freaking out,” he says, his voice warm with amusement. “And you’re overthinking. Again.”

I bite my lip, my chest tightening. “Asher, this isn’t…I mean, last night was…”

“Amazing?” he offers, his grin widening.

I glare at him, but he just leans in and presses a kiss to my shoulder. The simple gesture makes my heart stutter, and for a moment, I forget why I’m so panicked.

His lips brush against my collarbone, trailing upward until they meet mine. The kiss is slow, lazy, and impossibly tender. It feels like he’s trying to tell me something he can’t quite say out loud, and before I realize what I’m doing, I’m kissing him back.

When we finally pull apart, he rests his forehead against mine, his voice a whisper. “See? Nothing to freak out about.”

I exhale slowly, my pulse still racing. “I should go.”

“Why?”

“Because,” I say, gesturing vaguely toward the window. “People are going to see me, and then it’ll be a thing. And I don’t want it to be a thing. I said I was leaving early in the morning. Remember?”

His smile fades slightly, and I can see the hesitation in his eyes. But then he nods, sitting back and running a hand over his face.

“Alright,” he says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “Wait here.”

I watch as he crosses the room to his closet, pulling out a pair of baggy gray sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Here,” he says, tossing them to me. “Put these on. No one will recognize you.”

I blink, surprised. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

“Only for girls I really like,” he says, his grin returning.

I roll my eyes but can’t stop the smile tugging at my lips as I slip into the sweatpants and hoodie. They’re absurdly big on me, but they smell like him—fresh and warm and slightly woodsy.

“Side door,” he says, nodding toward the hall. “No one will see you.”

“What if Joe is in the hallway for some reason?”

“I’ll check.”

He sticks his head out of the door, then waves to me. “Coast is clear.”

I hesitate for a moment, my hand on the doorknob of the door to leave, before turning back to him. “Thanks, Asher.”

He leans against the doorframe, his eyes soft as they meet mine. “Don’t thank me. Just stop overthinking everything, okay? I want to see you again. Soon.”

I nod, my heart fluttering as I step out into the hallway.

The walk back to my apartment feels longer than usual, and I keep my head down, my cheeks burning every time I pass someone. But as I catch a faint whiff of Asher’s cologne on the hoodie, I can’t help but smile.

Because for the first time in a long time, my heart feels louder than my head.

seventeen

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