Page 92 of It's Complicated

A stretch of silence follows, the only sound that of my heart pounding behind my rib cage.

“That I’m sure…” Lori looks up, her eyes shiny. “It’s you, Jace, it’s only you.”

Even if I’m already seated, I have to steady myself. These are the words I’ve dreamt of hearing since I set eyes on her for the first time fifteen years ago. Lori was strolling across the Main Quad, earphones on, dark hair up in a ponytail, too many books in her arms, and her lips synching to some unheard music as she swayed her head in time with the music.

I was struck dumb on the spot. Mesmerized. Even more so when I found her sitting in the same classroom I was headed to.

I remember the moment our eyes met across the rows of chairs lining the lecture hall. Then her gaze moved past me and settled on Aiden, her cheeks flushing.

Now, I clench my jaws. “What about Aiden?”

“I don’t see him that way, not anymore. He’s a good friend, nothing more.”

“You’ve been in love with him for years. How are you suddenly over him?”

“Because I—I…” Lori falters, then looks me straight in the eyes. “I fell in love with you. Jace, I loveyou.”

I want to believe her. I do with all my heart, but… years of self-doubt coil in my stomach. I want to kiss her but I’m frozen on my side of the couch.

“Okay, I get it.” Lori sighs. “If you’d spent the last fifteen years pining with me over another woman, I’d have my doubts, too. That’s why I bought you this.” She rummages into her clutch to take out a small velvet box. “I saw it in a shop window and it seemed like the twin to the one you bought me in New Orleans.” Lori opens the box to show me an antique white gold ring with an intricate geometric pattern. She pulls it out of its stand. “This is an orange blossom pattern, but the antique dealer assured me it has a very masculine feel.”

We both stare at the ring, then at each other.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Supposedly a vintage wedding band, but I thought we could use it as a promise ring?” She gestures at my hands. “May I?”

I give her my left hand, and she slips the ring on.

“Jace, I love you. Everything about you. You’re my best friend, my person, my rock. I know it’s soon, but I want you to know that I want to be with you, only you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together. And I promise to love you every day that we’re together, and not to use all the hot water in the shower.” Lori smiles. “But I’ll keep singing Taylor Swift at the top of my lungs. That’s non-negotiable.”

I grin like the dumb idiot I am.

Lori keeps holding my hand and continues, “I promise to limit the number of pets I have and to never exceed having a thousand rescue books in our house if you’ll ever find the courage to come live with me.” Lori pauses for breath. “But I can’t make any promises about the number of kids I’ll want—it’s going to be a high number. And I promise to be the best mother I can and love them with all my heart, even if they turn out to be little neat freaks like you.”

I chuckle at that.

“I also promise never again to yell hurtful things without thinking, even if you’ve made me super mad. But I also want you to promise me you will never, ever again bail on me and run awayeveragain.”

I mock-pout. “Those are more evers and nevers than in a Taylor Swift song.”

“I’m serious, Jace. This past week has driven me crazy. Not knowing where you went, what you were doing or thinking, if you were okay or not… And I don’t want us to make some impossible promise like never going to bed angry, but I want to know that even if we’re mad at each other, you’ll be in bed with me, quietly sulking under the covers.”

“If you haven’t already hoarded them all.” I bump my forehead to hers. “I promise, Lola. I’ll never disappear on you again. Anything else?”

“Only that I can’t wait to make the rest of the journey with you until we’re old and crusty and will spend all our days complaining about the ‘young people’ and how things used to be better in the olden days.”

Lori’s out of breath, and I’m still trying to process what she just said. A lump forms in my throat. My heart feels like it’s about to burst.

Then I get up, pulling her with me. I take her in my arms and kiss her as if my life depended on it.

The kiss is warm and soft, full of life and promise, the promise of a future, of an entire life together. Pressed against me, she feels like the heat and light of the sun. Like the freshness of the first breath of spring. Like a ray of hope, like the promise of a whole new world to explore together.

I drink her in, my heart racing, my hands shaking. Our kiss is both sweet and electric, a touch at first, a mere brush of lips that soon turns into something more.

My lips part. With a soft moan, her lips do the same, allowing me to deepen the kiss. I place my arms around her, pulling her closer, and I don’t want to let her go.

A tear falls from my eyes, and another. I’m kissing the woman I love, and who loves me back—for real this time.

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