Page 69 of It's Complicated

Last check.

“That sound like what you have with Jace?”

I swallow and give him a tiny nod.

Aiden sags back in his chair. “Then I guess you have your answer.”

We share a loaded stare. Once again, I’m not exactly sure what’s crossing his mind.

“Can I ask you something?” he says.

Guess I’m about to find out.

I nod again.

“It’s about a night ages ago,” Aiden starts.

Instinctively, I know at once what night he’s talking about. The night of Never Have I Ever. Still, I play dumb. “Oh, which one?”

“We were at some stupid house party near campus…” he continues, and I’ve never been more glad I’m not sitting near a polygraph machine.

I shrug. “We’ve been to a million house parties in college.”

“That night we were playing Never Have I Ever.”

Yep, he’s talking aboutthenight!

“I can’t remember who said never have I ever been in love with my best friend.”

Tracy Dillon, I want to say, it was Tracy Dillon. I can remember every second of that night because I’ve replayed the DVD a million times in my head.

“So?” I just brought “playing dumb” to the next level.

“You took a shot,” Aiden says, and the world stops for a minute.

I look at him, unable to speak. How many times have I imagined him asking me exactly this question? I legit thought he’d forgotten about that night the following day after listening to my rambled excuses. But if he’s bringing it up now, it meansthe game must’ve stuck at the back of his mind all this time, too. Why? And what’s the point of asking me now?

Since I’m not giving him anything, Aiden goes on, “The next morning I came to your room to ask you about it, but you said you couldn’t remember anything of the night before… But was the shot about Jace? Even that long ago?”

Our eyes lock, a million unspoken words passing between us. As I stare into his gentle blue eyes, an entire other life passes before me. A life in which neither of us had chickened out that morning. A life in which we’d be together.

No, the shot wasn’t about Jace back then. I suspect we both know it. But it would be now. And no good would come out of admitting the truth, so what’s the point? There’s no reason to dig up old, unexpressed feelings between Aiden and me. We’ve left the topic buried for fifteen years and now it has actually, inexorably died in its tomb.

I look Aiden straight in the eyes. “Yes, it’s always been about Jace.”

Aiden nods, accepting the lie. “Well, I guess all is well what ends well. You know, I suspect he’s had a thing for you forever as well. But I got the impression that somehow he was convinced you were more into me. I bet that if he knew, he would’ve dropped the pact a lot sooner.”

I’m nodding my head along happily, basking in the glory of Jace’s undying love for me until the last part of Aiden’s speech sinks in and the lovebirds’ singing comes to a screeching halt, like a broken disk.

“What pact?” I ask.

Aiden blinks, with a deer-in-headlights look on his face, repeating, “What pact?”

Yeah, nice try, buddy.“You just said if Jace had known about my feelings for him, he would’ve dropped the pact a lot sooner. What. Pact?”

“You must’ve heard me wrong.”

“Nu-uh, my eardrums are in perfect shape, Dr. Collymore. Out with it!”

---