Page 36 of It's Complicated

Because right now, right at this moment, she’s mine. I kiss her like I’m drowning, I kiss her like I’m starving, and I kiss her like I’m about to die. Lori’s lips are warm and soft, and her mouth tastes like mint and strawberries. With her body pressed against mine, the scent of her hair fills my senses. It’s just her and me and nothing else exists.

Only when Kirsten whistles behind us, do we tear apart from each other.

“Bravo!” Aiden’s fiancée applauds. “Gosh, you guys, go get a room.”

Lori and I break apart. She looks at me, almost startled, and then her eyes fly to Aiden. Next, Lori’s gaze drops to the ground, her cheeks a deep red. Of course, I have to remember her heart doesn’t beat for me, it never has.

To make things less awkward, I do what I do best, and pretend I don’t care. “That might actually be a good idea before we all turn into popsicles.”

The goodbyes are slightly stilted after that. Kirsten gives us both a hug while I think Aiden looks at me oddly, but I can’t be sure.

We finished the wine halfway through the main course and didn’t order another bottle. So we’re all good to drive at this point. We give our keys to the valet, but thankfully, Aiden’s SUV arrives first.

He and Kirsten get in, and then it’s just me and Lori again. We keep silent until the driver comes back with her Tesla.

Lori is looking uncertain, too. “Look, Jace…”

Nuh-uh, whatever she’s about to say—thanks for the kissing, what a show you put up, or worse, she could ask me why I just kissed her like I’m really in love with her—I take the keys from the valet, round the car, and open the driver’s door for her.

Lori follows me but hesitates to get in. “Listen, Jace…”

“It’s okay, Lola,” I interrupt again, kissing her on the forehead. “We don’t have to make a big deal out of it.” I wink at her and add, “Drive carefully, text me when you get home.”

I’m the image of insouciance, like that kiss didn’t affect me at all. After years spent practicing the attitude around Lori, it comes to me as second nature.

Looking disappointed, Lori gets into the car. “Goodnight, I guess.”

We say goodbye and I close the door on her, both literally and figuratively.

Then her car pulls away and disappears into the night.

Despite acting completely unaffected in front of her, on the drive home, I can’t help replaying the kiss in my head over and over again. But allowing myself to fantasize Lori and I could actually become more than friends is a huge mistake. Lori is in love with someone else. Maybe now that Aiden is getting married, she’s trying to convince herself that she’s over him, but it can’t have happened overnight. She’s doing what she can to survive, even if that is experimenting with me.

Because she thinks of me as this womanizer bad boy she can’t hurt, if only she knew. But she doesn’t, because I never told her.

I don’t regret kissing her, though. It was one hell of a kiss—the kind you want to remember for the rest of your life. I brush a hand over my mouth, remembering the sensation of the lips of an amazing woman pressed to mine. I don’t care if it wasn’t real.

The streetlights blur past my car window as unfocused as my thoughts until I pull up into my underground garage and step out of the car. My steps echo on the concrete as I head to the exit.

As the elevator climbs up, I can’t stop wondering what Lori wanted to say to me after the kiss. Why did I shut her down? Because I’m such a coward.

I get into my apartment and it’s dark and quiet and so darn lonely, just like it’s been for years. I flop down on my couch, put my feet up on the table, and pull out my cell phone. Why? I don’t even know what I want to do—write to her?—when the screen lights up with an incoming text from Lori.

From Lori:

I’m home safe

Glad to hear it, I type. Then I fidget with my phone and, going against every self-preservation instinct I have, I add:

To Lori:

Did you want to talk about something earlier?

I hit send and wait for her response. It doesn’t take long.

From Lori:

You mean when you all but shoved me into my car?

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