Page 77 of It's Complicated

I can’t deny I’ve been prejudiced against Kirsten from the moment Aiden announced she was his new girlfriend. But now that we’re no longer rivals, I don’t see why we couldn’t become friends… in time… we’ll see…

Aiden drops his hand away from my mouth, and I say, “I will.”

“Thanks.” Aiden bends down and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. “Now go to your guy. I think he’s still alone with his booze and Cheetos.”

“Will do.” I reach a hand up to cup his cheek. “Thanks, Aiden.”

“Don’t thank me.” He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I really did nothing. Goodnight, Lori.”

“Night, Aidenberry.”

I watch him go, unable to wipe a silly smile from my face. I’m in love with Jace, and he loves me back. I can’t wait to tell him…

31

JACE

I step out of my building and walk. I walk and walk and walk until I can’t feel my hands in the cold and my feet go numb. Unconsciously—or very consciously—I head north toward her house. Chicago is unforgiving around me, bleak in the dead of night with the February wind working its icy fingers under my coat, against my face, while a clammy humidity dampens my clothes.

I welcome the discomfort. I’ve earned it. I let my thoughts run free with no intention of stopping them because I don’t deserve peace of mind.

So I walk.

My eyes ache from the cold. And I walk.

I see a group of men walking down the street and I step aside. Luckily, they pass without incident.

They look like they are heading to a bar. Probably to drown their sorrows in alcohol and oblivion. I envy them. They are the lucky ones. They don’t have to live with the knowledge they’ve harmed someone they care about.

I walk.

I walk until I’m at her house and then I stop dead in my tracks. Aiden’s car is parked across the street from Lori’s loft.

What is he doing here? Why did he come to see her?

It might be innocent, I tell myself. He’s come to help me out, plead my case with her.

But then the devil of jealousy, the one that’s been rotting and festering in my guts for the past fifteen years, hisses a warning in my ear,“Or he’s here to finally make her his. You told him all he needed to know.”

No. Aiden wouldn’t. He said he was in love with Kirsten, and that he was glad Lori was only a friend.

“People lie,”the devil whispers.“How many times have you lied to him… to her… It’s only fitting they’d get their happily ever after now… after another lie.”

I stay rooted on the spot, on the curb opposite Lori’s house.

Without moving, the cold gets even worse. If I stay here long enough, I’m going to get frostbite. A suitable punishment alongside the fact I’ll have to live knowing I’ve lost everything.

The devil’s whispers are getting unbearable, and my thoughts are unrelenting. I can’t block them out anymore. I can’t deny the truth. I lied. And I deserve to lose everything.

I killed love.

I killed the only thing that ever really mattered.

I deserve all her anger and her hate.

I deserve to be alone and miserable.

I deserve the cold.

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