Page 10 of It's Complicated

Further confirmation this is not a dream arrives when Lori opens her mouth and vomits a torrent of definite real-life verbal nonsense on me. “Aiden is in the kitchen. I don’t know why he came to visit you this morning, but I went to open the door because you wouldn’t wake up.” Easy to believe. Last night, with her sleeping next to me, it took me forever to fall asleep. I stared at the ceiling for hours, listening to her regular breathing and all the cute sleep sounds she made, imagining how it’d feel if she were in my bed as my girlfriend and not my friend. I was exhausted by the time I passed out.

“And when he saw me wearing your T-shirt,” Lori continues, “Aiden asked me if we’d slept together and I said yes because, technically, we did sleep together. But he understood it in the other way—the naughty way,” she clarifies unnecessarily. “Andhe seemed really jealous about it, so I might’ve… umm… not corrected him.”

“WHAT?” I try to say under the muzzle.

“Shhh, shhh. Now, you can’t go out there and contradict me or it’d make me look like the most pathetic human being in the history of all pathetic human beings. Even more pathetic than Aiden having to save me from choking to death on one of your breath mints.”

Since I can’t speak, I frown.

“Don’t worry, he Heimlich-ed me and aside from the humiliation, I’m going to live. And clear your floor from all the mints…” She frantically waves her free hand in the air. “Later. In fact, if you do this for me, I’ll clean your house for an entire year. Please?”

We stare at each other for a long moment until she realizes I can’t answer her if she keeps me muzzled.

“I’m going to let you speak now, but please don’t scream or get mad.”

Slowly, she removes her hand.

“We can’t do this,” I hiss. “I can’t lie to my best fr—”

The hand is back over my mouth. “Hissing your refusal is also not allowed. What do you want me to do? Confess I made up an entire relationship between us? What if he asks me why? What would I say?”

I raise an eyebrow in a permission-to-speak way.

Lori lets me.

“A relationship? So it isn’t just a hookup you want me to lie about?”

“Sort of.” She gives me details about drinks with my sister and Christmas lights.

“You actually told him I’ve been into you since college?”

“Don’t worry, you came off really sweet.”

“I’m not sweet.”

“Except when with me, your secret love?” Lori bats her lashes at me. “Please don’t rat me out. Please?”

She looks like Princess Ariel when she begs Sebastian not to go tell on her to King Triton. Pouty lips and big eyes. Except Lori’s hair and eyes are brown.

“This is insane.”

“I know, but you’ll do it for me because you love me despite all my weirdness.”

I push her off me and get out of bed. “You owe me, Archibald, big time. As in, you’ll take all my walk-ins from now till the end of times.”

Kneeling on the bed, she nods. “I know.”

I pull on a pair of sweatpants and shuffle into the kitchen.

Aiden is seated at the bar, looking very put-together in beige chinos, and a light-brown sweater. Yeah, very self-possessed—except for his expression.

When our eyes meet, he stares murder at me—as he should.

“Hey, man.” I give him a fish-eating grin. “What’s up?”

“I don’t know,” he says, voice cold. “You tell me,man.”

“Guys, guys.” Lori shuffles between us. “Leave the testosterone out of this.” She points at Aiden. “You don’t need to defend my honor.” And then at me. “And you don’t have to be the alpha.”

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