Page 45 of The Christmas Eve Delivery

“Good. That’s all that I want left in there.”

“I know you want to keep the dressers, but what about the bed?”

I had to think for a minute. “Let’s get rid of the mattress. We aren’t going to need it for a couple of years, and it’s old. And the frame will fold up and can go into the basement with the other extra bed frames that are already down there.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He stepped over and kissed me on the cheek before he picked up the box and walked out the door.

He had been here for two days already and spent the entire time clearing out that bedroom for me. I didn’t know how to thank him. He had moved into my life like he belonged here. It was nice. It was something I could get used to.

I was reading a book in the lobby later that same afternoon when Miles stepped out of the apartment. He was all smiles.

“Lydia, can I steal you for a second?”

I put my book down. “Of course. What do you need?”

“I want to show you something.”

“Ooh.” I acted surprised.

I followed him down the short hall into my apartment. He took my hand and led me to the second bedroom door.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he covered my eyes and wrapped his arm around me, his chest against my back.

He carefully walked me forward. “I want you to be surprised,” he said.

I heard the door creak open, and we took a few more steps forward before he uncovered my eyes.

“Wow.”

The room was completely empty and full of light. I had always thought of this room as being so dingy and dark. Aunt Ruth never opened the curtains. Now the curtains were gone and the windows were open, letting in some much-needed fresh air. He had already moved the two dressers into the middle of the room.

“It’s ready for you to pick out colors. I can get started painting. We’ll buy some tarps when we’re at the paint store to protect the dressers and the carpet.”

The walls were dingy and the carpet was worn. This room just looked old.

“How are we going to make this look like a happy nursery?” I asked. I felt like crying.

“You aren’t happy,” Miles stated.

“I’m overwhelmed. It’s baby brain,” I said. “I can’t see past what’s here right now.”

The room had always been dark, and now I could see how dirty the walls were, and the faded spots where pictures had hung, and cobwebs in the corners that I hadn’t bothered to clean out in the months since Aunt Ruth got ill and died. This room had been abandoned, and now it looked like it belonged in an old abandoned building.

I took in a shuddering breath. I really didn’t want to cry about this, but how was I supposed to raise a baby in this room?

“Hey, hey,” Miles said, “It’ll be okay. After we get it painted, we’ll put in some new carpeting. You won’t recognize it as the same room. You said you wanted to paint these dressers. You will bring color and breathe new life into this room.”

He ran his hand over my baby bump.

“We will make this a happy place for the baby,” he said.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should think about moving into a little house that doesn’t have all of my bad memories in it, so that I’m not giving that emotional baggage directly to the next generation.”

“I think buying a house isn’t a bad idea, but Lydia, you said this was your home. You grew up here. You can make happier memories to replace the old ones. You don’t have to let this beat you. If you want, we can go look at houses. If you want, we can go look at paint chips. You tell me what you want, and I will make it happen.”

I slid my hands around his waist and held on tight. I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted things to be easier. I wanted to know what my future held. I was tired of having to fight for everything I wanted. I was just tired.

“I think I need to rest right now,” I admitted. “The baby sometimes makes it so that I don’t think clearly. Right now, I can’t get over the past to see the potential of an empty room right now.”

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