“Jordan...” His voice, thick with emotion is like a knife to my soul but I’m already getting into my car, tears streaming silently.
I’m not running. I’m arming myself for the fight.
* * *
It’s two months later, every day of which I miss Owen like I’ve lost one of my senses, when I look at my bank statement. I haven’t touched the allowance since I left Owen’s apartment that day several months ago. So while he’s still in control of my allowance, I’ve been completely independent of both him and my father’s money. And the funds in my account prove it.
God, I miss him.
My heart seems to sit in my belly, which feels weighted down by cinder blocks. I’m mourning the loss of him as if he’s dead and buried. Even though he’s not and this is only temporary. He can’t run his business if he’s trashed in the paper every week or if he’s dealing with whatever crisis I have. And I can only return to him once I’m completely independent. That’s the only way this will work.
I look at the missed calls on my cell and as usual, Owen has called again. It’s only nine in the morning and he’s called three times. I wipe away tears, wondering how he’s doing. Does he miss me and Beast or does he just want to know what to do with the crap I left at his place?
I shove the thoughts away as the bell jingles on the door. Beezy Bennet, my new boss and landlord, comes through it in her blue jeans, bright pink tank, and gardening gloves. Her hair isn’t as spikey as usual, probably due to the wide-brimmed hat in her hand, but she’s got new pink tips in her gray hair, which I love.
“My dear girl, you have done amazing things with this place.” The owner of Pets Are People Too looks around the store, her large pink bauble earrings swinging and pride glowing on her face.
“You like it?”
“Like?” She smiles brightly and pulls off her gloves. “I don’t know how I ran this place without you!” And I don’t know how I survived my whole life without her. She’s like a mother or cool aunt and best friend all rolled into one. Nothing like my selfish mother, or the evil steps.
“I got a few hits on the site about the bulldog Jerry Wright found last week.”
“And how about Beast?” She speaks in baby talk as she gets down on her hands and knees to give Beast cuddles and scratches. “Love this little vest and bow-tie. You’re such a cutie-patootie.”
“Still nothing on him,” I say, feeling relief. I’ve fallen for the little guy hard. He’s become my whole world now. I’ve grown so attached. I actually feel panic at the thought of finding his owner. I gather a breath, but I made him a promise.
“You sure you’re not ready to give up? I think Beast has claimed you anyway.”
“He deserves a chance to be reunited with his true owner. I love him enough to get him back where he belongs.”
She eyes me as if to make sure I’m okay. “Okay. I’m off to collect honey from my bees now. I’ll bring back some fresh scones from Barb’s Bakery on the way back and we’ll have them with lunch today.” Her eyes sparkle as she comes to me and wraps her arms around me.
“Sounds delicious,” I say and hug her back, hard. She’s in her late seventies but not even the slightest bit fragile and looks more like a woman in her late fifties.
The little beach town where Owen and I were so happy and no one knew me has become my new home. I work in the pet shop where I was told about Beast being taken by Kari-Anne, and live in the little bachelor apartment above it. It’s perfect for me. It’s even furnished. Eclectic stuff Beezy’s husband refused to let her keep in their house, but suits me well. Having all the colorful unique items around me keeps the loneliness away and helps my creativity.
Beezy’s pet store sells all natural healthy products and she gives a significant amount of her profits to charities for needy and abused animals, as well as conservation. I fit in here like Cinderella fit in her glass slipper.
Beezy let me make a website with a lost and found animals section as well as one for rehoming. But running the shop and the website aren’t the only things I do. I started my own little business, too.
My heart lifts slightly. I’m an entrepreneur! Owen would be so proud. I spin the rack of my pet clothing line and my smile grows so big my cheeks hurt. I can’t thank Beezy enough, although I’ve tried because she’s given me something I’ve never had.
My independence.
I think of Owen. He helped me as well. He gave me the confidence I needed to do this on my own. Plus, he taught me how to manage my money and the difference between want and need. And that shopping therapy is not real therapy at all. I chuckle, thinking his brand of therapy was much better, but then my heart feels heavy again.
“Happiness from consumerism is temporary, baby girl.” His words ringing in my head make my chest ache. I miss the sound of his voice. I miss the feel of his hands on me. But I especially miss having someone to talk to, to run things by, to listen and encourage. I can’t count the number of times I’ve reached for my cell to call him. Until I lose that urge, I’ll never be truly independent. And I won’t go back until I am.
I glance at the picture of Beezy’s husband beside the cash register. I feel the weight of empathy for Beezy’s loss along with my own. Fifty years of love, partnership, and marriage.
Beezy’s husband passed a few months before I arrived and she wasn’t doing well. “As soon as I saw you, Jordan, your heartbroken, pathetic aura gave me the purpose I needed to carry on without my Herb. Sometimes you need to look beyond your own needs to become whole again.”
I’ll never forget her words or the way they made me feel so cared for and needed all at the same time. No one had ever needed me. I look down at Beast.
“Besides you, buddy.”
I go to the back office where Beezy let me set up the used sewing machine I bought at the church bazaar last month. I’d been tinkering, making pet clothes and toys for Beast when Beezy walked in one day and saw my work.