Page 64 of Love & Rockets

Chapter 12

Darla barely slept a wink the whole weekend. There was nothing like seeing your guy with another girl to stir a woman to action. But her call to arms hadn’t gone quite as she planned.

“Mom! Crossing guard.” Grace clamped a hand on her arm and gave her a shake.

Darla stomped on the brake in time to avoid rear-ending the car ahead of her in the drop-off line. Mrs. Welchel, the crossing guard, stood in the middle of the road wearing a bright yellow rain slicker with a neon-orange mesh vest. A person would have to be blind to miss her. Or simply blindsided.

“Geez, pay attention,” Grace muttered, falling back in the seat.

“Sorry.”

She seemed to have spent the entire weekend apologizing to her daughter. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t put the phone call out of her mind. She moved through the days on autopilot, all the while retracing the steps in her relationship with Jake and trying to figure out exactly how they went so far off the rails. She’d called him Friday night planning to sweet—or sexy—talk him into putting the last couple of weeks behind them and picking up where they left off. She’d tell him she missed him. She was willing to go that far. And if he responded well, she could suggest he come over to her apartment.

The place where no man had come before. Literally.

Darla turned into the designated drop-off lane. The two remained silent as they crept forward three feet at a time. When they finally inched up to the front door, Grace unclipped her seat belt and turned to look at her.

“You okay, Mama?”

Her daughter’s gentle tone and worried frown tugged a smile Darla didn’t know she had from the depths of her self-indulgence. Breaking the rules established on some arbitrary day in the middle of the fourth grade, she reached over and stroked Gracie’s thick curls.

“I’m fine, baby.”

Her answer was a lie and they both knew it, but their gaze met and held. She may not have known what she was doing when she decided she was going to keep her baby. But from the time she first held Grace to her breast, Darla knew she’d made the right decision. Probably the first and last time she’d ever felt so certain about anything. Until now. Looking into Gracie’s eyes, she felt the same unbreakable connection she’d discovered the first time she held her.

It’ll be okay. We have each other. You’re everything I need. Always. Forever.

But she didn’t have to say the words. Instead, she gave her baby the first genuine smile she’d managed to work up in weeks. “Have a good day.”

“You, too, Mom.” Fumbling with her overstuffed backpack, Grace tumbled from the car. Darla’s heart filled to bursting as she watched the teen untangle her feet, point her chin at the double doors, and take off like a ship heading toward the mouth of the bay.

Shifting gears, Darla made her way out of the drop-off line at a snail’s pace. Her thoughts drifted back to their confusing phone call. She’d dialed in a moment of weakness. She’d been bored and lonely. Alternately feeling sorry for herself and incensed.

Connie and Grace saw no reason to alter what had become their Friday night date night, regardless of Darla’s plans. Or lack of them. To make matters worse, she wasn’t invited to join them. When she’d broached the subject, Connie brushed her off with an airy wave and the suggestion that it was time for her to learn to enjoy her alone time. The implication being that she had plenty coming.

But she didn’t want alone time. Well, not alone-alone time. She liked alone time when she had Jake and their usual Friday night plans. Dinner. Sex. Talking. More sex. And then those sleepy morning snuggles she pretended she didn’t want or need, but secretly wished would never end.

She thought maybe they could get some of it back. Seeing him with another girl made her realize how much she wanted to get him back. Unfortunately, when he answered the phone, her confidence and her carefully rehearsed spiel went flying out the window. Instead she acted like a jealous girlfriend. Then she completely freaked out when he’d asked the big question.

“Who is Grace’s father?”

The answer had been on the tip of her tongue. He’d never know how tempted she’d been. And maybe it was time to strip off the shroud of mystery and conjecture she’d hidden behind for so long. Say the name. But not then. She couldn’t tell Jake before she even told Grace. That wouldn’t be right.

Darla huffed a bitter laugh as she pulled into the parking lot behind The Pit. She hadn’t realized how long it had been since anyone had poked that particular sore spot. At first, everyone asked. After a while, they gave up, preferring to fill in the blanks themselves.

Turning off the ignition, she sat staring at the stream of fragrant smoke billowing from the smokehouse. She sniffed. Chicken. Bubba always made more chicken on Mondays because he thought people wanted to atone for their weekend indulgences. He was right. Chicken on Mondays, ribs to celebrate the end of another work week.

Choices.

Life was all about choices. Big ones, little ones, careful ones designed to make life easier, and the more reckless variety. Some turned the world upside down.

The minute the strip turned pink she knew what a fool she’d been, but she couldn’t get rid of the baby. It wasn’t Gracie’s fault her mother was an idiot. And though Gracie’s father was far from blameless, his wife and daughter had done nothing to deserve the upheaval Darla could bring to their lives. So, she’d made a choice. Then her parents had made theirs.

Poor Harley. He hadn’t had much of a choice, but once he committed, he was in. All in. Smiling, she thought about the day he’d stormed into The Pit, livid over the rumors she hadn’t bothered to squelch. Unlike most other St. Pat’s people, Darla’d always liked Harley. He was funny and sharp and sweet in his own way. At least, she thought he was sweet with his mother.

Feeling guilty she’d let the gossip about him fathering her baby fester, she’d spilled her guts. Her parents had kicked her out. The room she was renting in an apartment building about a step down from slum-level. That lucky day, Harley Cade chose to become her friend and protector. One of the luckiest days of her life.

A sharp rap on her window knocked her out of her reverie. “You on the sauce, Sis?” Zelda Jo shouted through the closed window.

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