Page 19 of My Demon Manny

"Hey, now. I thought you liked me!"

Gunner giggled as if hitting me was the best game ever, and I smiled fondly as I slowly pulled the toy out of his grip.

"Come on now. It's time for your nap. How about we go out to the park this weekend with your dad, hmm? You'd like to see the birds and the sky, won't you?"

I'd held off on taking Gunner out until now, but maybe we could all go out this weekend as a test run, and I could figure out a way to get just a little bit closer with my mate.

Archer

Ever since my talk with Jerry, I'd been trying my best to keep my distance from Lux, which wasn't easy when we were both so involved with Gunner. I couldn't stop calling Lux to check up on him, and when I was home, we inevitably ended up in the same room trying to take care of Gunner.

And now Lux had suggested we go out to the park tomorrow to introduce Gunner to the 'big wide world' out there. It wasn't a bad idea, and if it weren't for my 'keep your distance from Lux' oath, I'd be planning our day out down to the last detail.

Instead, I was stuck in a loop of mindless worrying trying to figure out how to make sure I didn't give myself away.

Now that I'd admitted my feelings to myself, I found my gaze returning to Lux quite frequently. Every time we had a calm moment, my eyes inevitably found their way back to him, my mind filled with dumb, idiotic musings like 'what would running my fingers through his hair feel like?' or 'how pink would his cheeks get if I kissed him?' or 'how fucking irresistible would he look with his lips all red and swollen from kissing?'

It was at that point that I'd run away with some lame excuse, and it'd taken me close to an hour to find my footing again. I didn't know how I was going to keep my wits about me tomorrow, but I had to. For Gunner.

The sun was shining brightly as we loaded Gunner up in his stroller, dressed in a onesie, his skin covered in baby sunscreen and a cute little cap on his head. I wasn't sure where Lux had found the cap—it certainly wasn't something I'd purchased—but it looked adorable perched upon Gunner's head, the little pom poms hanging just by his ears.

The gated community I lived in had a large park in the center, and even though it was divided into two parts—one for dogs and their owners, the other for the rest of the residents—it was pretty damned big, with a large oak tree to one side offering shade for a picnic, and a bunch of play equipment for the kids on the other side, including a couple slides, three swings, monkey bars, and little see-saws.

"Wow, this park is pretty big, huh?" Lux commented as he took the place in, and I hummed in agreement.

Gunner seemed ecstatic about being outside, clapping his little arms as he sat in the stroller, his eyes flicking from place to place.

We made a circuit around the park so Gunner could enjoy more of the view before finally stopping in the tree's shade. As I entertained Gunner, Lux spread out a blanket and placed our picnic basket in a corner, before adding another blanket for Gunner.

Picking him up from the stroller, I sat him down on the blanket before settling behind him so he could lean on me for support as Lux sat down on Gunner's other side.

"This is nice," Lux murmured, and I smiled. Itwasnice. Between work and Gunner, I hadn't stepped outside and just enjoyed being surrounded by nature in quite a while. I used to love going on hikes when I was younger, spending weekends camped out in the woods. I hadn't done that since we started the company.

Ever since Gunner came into my life, I'd slowly started realizing just how many of my hobbies and likes I'd allowed to fall by the wayside in my attempt to make our company successful, and then in an attempt tokeepit that way.

If not for Gunner—and Lux, a voice in my head that sounded suspiciously like Jerry's added—I'd still be stuck in the same loop of work-home-work-home that I'd been bouncing around for close to a decade. Gunner had given me a new shot at life, and maybe it involved Lux, maybe it didn't, but either way, I wasn't going to waste it.

No more giving everything I had to work, no more bringing work home with me. Gunner would grow up in a house where he was loved, where he mattered, where he knew he'd be heard, and where he knew he was the most important person. He'd also learn respect, hard work, and the difference between right and wrong, and he'd definitely make mistakes, but he'd also know that no matter what, his dad would always help him do the right thing or make things better when he made a mistake.

Whether Lux would be a part of that future or not remained to be seen, but I couldn't make a decision right now. I'd been alone for a while, and I could manage a while longer, but Gunner needed Lux now, so I had to put my feelings on the back burner. I just had to.

"Fancy some sandwiches?"

I glanced over at Lux, my breath catching in my throat. The sunlight filtering through the leaves struck Lux just right to make his face glow. His hair looked like it was alight from within, strings of gold instead of his usual blond, and his blue eyes sparkled like aquamarines.

"Archer?"

I blinked, shaking myself free of whatever spell he'd cast on me. "Um, yeah. I'll take one."

Smiling, Lux held a sandwich out to me, and our fingers brushed as I took it from him. His skin was warm and soft, and I wanted to touch him again.

Fuck. Putting my feelings aside wasn't going to be easy at all, not when Lux constantly had that smile on his face and had never once looked anything less than perfect in all the time I'd known him.

I had to do it though. For myself, but mostly for Gunner.

I was a father now, and I couldn't allow myself to be selfish.

Nine

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