Page 113 of A Vow of Blood and Tears

I nodded, my lips flattening. Glad to know that story was going around.

Kajarin shrugged one shoulder expansively, letting her puffy little sleeve slip down around her arm. “Honestly, what would a servant know about duty to a hold? About keeping the peasantry safe? Nothing! You know absolutely nothing.”

That much was true, even though I knew she was saying nothing of worth.Farting between her teeth, Sister Aletha would’ve said.

“So… think about it. Why would they take a servant?” Kajarin’s eyes widened. “Because your blood is all that matters. You’re a pureblood. That’s your sole worth, Cirrien. You fit the qualification, and now here you are.”

That requirement was demanded by the human Lords, I wrote.

She ignored it entirely. “So, you were born to the wrong bloodline, and you performed their quaint little ceremony.That’s it! Now we’re both trapped forever, married to those… thosethings.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. She had guest-right, and I couldn’t haul off and slap her.

Bane is not a thing or a freak of nature. My pen tore through the paper a little from the force of my writing.

“You poor girl. You still don’t see it.” She gestured to my books. “He’s given you make-work to make you feel important, to blind you. That feeling of pride you’re indulging in right now? It’s so you don’t run off and leave him thirsty. At the end of the day, all you are to him is a warm meal—and a warm hole, if you’ll let him go that far. You’re just a name he needs on paper.”

A name that ensures our people are protected against wargs. A meal that keeps him prepared to defend us.

Kajarin gave me a falsely sympathetic smile. “Oh, no. You’ve swallowed the bait.”

Are you delusional?I asked.Weren’t you around for the Forian War, when wargs were slaughtering entire villages in an hour? We heard the bells at least once a night in Argent, and that was the most defended city in Veladar. If our marriage is necessary to keep the vampires on our side and ready to fight for us, then it was entirely worth it to me.

I didn’t add that I would marry Bane all over again just for the sake of himself; she didn’t deserve that level of trust. Not with the way she treated Wroth.

“They could have helpedwithouttaking the titles, andwithoutmarrying us!” she hissed. “These castles belonged to humans! How can you not see this? You were part of the Sisterhood.”

Prices must be paid in times of war. The cost was the four thrones. Why cry about it now, when they’ve done nothing but rebuild our prosperity together?I thought it over, and added:All four keeps were built by vampires, so they belonged tothem first, in fact. If anything, the Blood Accords have granted equilibrium between our kinds. Both humans and vampires rule them now.

“Equi—?” Kajarin sputtered. She stopped herself, taking a breath and closing her eyes. “Cirrien. I am trying tohelpyou.”

I don’t really want your help.

“You haven’t seen what I’ve seen. By the Lady, you’ve never seen him fully transformed, have you?” She put a hand to her stomach, mouth twisting. “You think they’re hideous now?”

Not anymore.

“Please. They’re… Light help me, they’re horrible. Just look at Wroth’s face—he’s gotfur, he’s gotclaws! And he expects me to want to touch him?” She curled her lip. “As though I would kiss him, let alone fuck him!”

You don’t have to torment him for what he is.

“And to think I would let him touch me with those hands, after the things I’ve seen him do… I’ve watched Wroth pull a man’s arm off, like a boy pulling wings from a fly. They’re violent monstrosities, and if you think they wouldn’t ever turn that violence on you, thenyou’redelusional, not me.”

I stared at her across the table.Did you give him a chance? Because I don’t think they would. With the way you carry on, I think if Wroth meant to kill you, he would’ve done it by now. Besides, no man’s hands are clean after the war. Even children who could hold a spear fought.

“Ha!” Kajarin flopped bonelessly on the couch again. “But, Cirrien, at least they grew intomen, who look like proper men should. They don’t have a mouth full of teeth or walk on paws. He’s a thing, not a person. So, if you’re smart, you’ll do what I’ve done—take all you can get, and live as best you can, even if you’re owned by a grotesquerie. Wroth might have the title, the castle, the gold… but he is not a man.”

She said the last ferociously, through her teeth, fists clenched.

I watched her take deep breaths, calming herself.

Anger was understandable. I, too, had been furious under the terror when I’d been plucked from washing the floor to being readied for a wedding. It hadn’t seemed fair, but then… life wasn’t fair. Life was simply what one forged with the raw materials they were given.

So, I could see the anger at being given to a fiend in marriage. What I couldn’t see was torturing him, playing mind games, to make him suffer for something he likely hadn’t wanted at all.

Areyou living the best you can?I wrote, wishing I could talk to her just to give her the full acid of my tone.Or are you just trying to make him as miserable as you are? You can talk all day about them being creatures and monsters, but remember, you were perfectly happy to try to luremyhusband to your bed to strike a blow against yours.

I knocked the table hard, holding the journal up for Kajarin to read when she opened her eyes.

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