Page 105 of A Vow of Blood and Tears

To my surprise, he chuckled, shaking his head.

It’s not funny to me, Bane. Is she a past lover of yours?

“No, my lady. No.” He mastered his expression, barely managing to wipe his incredulous smile away. “Auré is, and has always been, a sister to me. To all of us.”

Well, to hell with it. I’d already shown my hand, ugly jealousy and all.

Wyn said Auré was the one she would choose as your lover, I wrote.If we didn’t find our way.

That was what fully killed Bane’s amusement. The smile, which had been on the verge of returning, became a stormy scowl. “Ah, fuck. I see why you’d think… but no, never. She genuinely is like a sister to me. Even if you and I had never met, that thought would never cross my mind. And as for Wyn… as you’ve noticed, she likes to be involved, whether she’s wanted or not. I love her, but that is a shortcoming, I won’t lie. Yes, she tried to make plans in the event that you preferred to be away from me, but as I told her then: no. While my vows are made, there will never be another, whether you love or loathe me—and Auré would never have been a consideration regardless.”

I licked my lips, feeling a little better. Perhaps he was lying, and there was a past… but if there was, it would clearlyremainin the past. I trusted Bane enough to speak straight about his intentions.

She is very aggressive in her defense of you and your brothers, I finally wrote.

“I noticed.” Bane’s expression turned a little sour. “And as I said, you were speaking too quickly for me to read clearly. What did she say to you?”

By the Light… as much as I disliked the vampire woman, nothing good could come of repeating our argument.

“Cirri.” My husband’s tone was dangerously calm.

It’s resolved between us now. What does it matter?

“It matters to me. I’m asking now—don’t make me demand.” The growl in his voice had deepened, the reverberations tangible in my bones.

I sighed.She was concerned that I might be a whore or a gold digger. I was concerned she was too stupid to tell otherwise. We settled our concerns. The end.

Bane swiped a clawed hand across his face, torn between amusement and anger. “I will speak with her.”

No, I wrote.Neither Auré nor your brothers will ever respect me if I let you win my arguments. I have to prove to them myself that I’m not using you, or trying to harm you.

“But you’re furious,” he said, putting a finger under my chin to force my head up, so I had to look him in the eye.

I nodded.Yes, but when I look past my anger, I see they have reasons for this distrust. Look at Kajarin and Wroth. Something is terribly wrong there. As long as Auré stops touching you, I’m willing to do what I can to prove myself.

Bane’s lips twitched. “Ah. I apologize, Cirri, for as much as I want you to be happy and content, I am… rather taken with the jealousy.” He laughed a little. “Who would have thought thatyouwould want to keep something likemefor yourself?”

Bane.

“I really am sorry, but it’s gratifying. I spent ten years thinking my wife would immediately hand me off so she didn’t have to come near me herself… but here you are.”

Stop being gratified, I told him with some annoyance.It’s not a compliment.

The fiend grinned at me. “No? I rather like you ready and willing to defend your territory. I am all yours, after all, and I’d happily stop another hand from touching me for the rest of my life for your happiness.”

I stared up at him, debating with myself, still icy to the marrow with nerves and fear, but I had to say it. It was eating at me.

Finally I wrote:Are you all mine? You are gratified by my jealousy, which makes me sick to think I must worry about Auré, but you won’t touch me outside of feeding on my blood. You sleep next to me, but you won’tsleepwith me. I’ve used you for my own pleasure but I’ve never even seen you naked. I’ve wondered if there is something wrong with me that makes you not want—

Abruptly the pen was pulled from my hand.

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Bane hissed, looming over me, his teeth at eye-level. “Nothing! If anything, you are too good for me, and it would kill me to destroy you in a moment of lust gone too far.”

Penless, I resorted to simple signing.I am not too good for you.

“Don’t turn this around.” He put the journal and the pen on the table, out of reach, and closed his eyes for a moment. “I’ve told you this before, but perhaps not well enough. I am not a man. I am deformed and monstrous. I could, with the least effort, tear you apart. No, do not speak yet.”

I put my hands back in my lap, my stomach alive with nerves.

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