Page 39 of Sin and Salvation

“I usually can’t. At least, not that much. I would be good for a scrape or a bruise, but a bullet hole or broken bone? Forget it.”

That explained why they didn’t need a doctor. As long as I was here, I could drive Zane’s power up until he could heal with a touch.

“Useful,” I whispered, touching the scar on my side. The stinging and burning had completely faded. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” He peeled off the shirt that was becoming stiff with dried blood. “I’d be in the hospital if not for your power.”

As glad as I was to see him alive and well, a tremor of misgiving went through me. I knew perfectly well that as a succubus, my worth would always be counted in what I could give; demons like Maxime would do anything to get their hands on one. Even Gian’s offer to take me off their hands made it clear that no trafficking laws would stop a demon from trying.

But I didn’t want to be wanted for my power or what I was. I’d have given it up in a heartbeat to be a normal demon, because it was impossible to tell sometimes if they wanted me for the magic, or if they wanted me for me.

I hated that feeling of being unsure of their intentions, but really… Zane had said it himself. He’d never given a Club Onyx stripper a massage in his own bed before.

Was it for me, or because being nice would get them what they wanted?

My disturbing thoughts were cut off when Crow returned, carrying a small black case. He put it on the counter, unlatching it, and opened it on a small, dark handgun.

“This is yours,” he told me, sliding the entire case towards me. “Any time you leave the club, you take this with you.”

I looked down at the dull metal, my stomach twisting. “I don’t…”

I was still jumpy, knowing Maxime’s men were hunting for me everywhere. It would be even worse now that I knew the shooters had been from him, trying to cripple me enough to drag me back. The last thing I wanted was to kill someone by accident because I misinterpreted their actions.

“You’re taking it, whether you like it or not.” Crow’s dark scowl was like a storm waiting to happen. “Giraud has never acted this openly on our territory before, and someone was clearly tipped off that you were there with us. As long as Giraud is alive, it’s a risk none of us are willing to take.”

“What if I hurt someone?” I asked, feeling guilty as I reached out to touch the cool metal.

I wanted the gun, despite my fear of myself; fear of Maxime was an overarching force in my life, one that shaped my actions and decisions. If I could protect myself, even though I was terrified I’d hurt someone innocent, then maybe for once I could feel like I had nothing to fear.

“One of us will be with you whenever you leave. You’re not going to hurt someone by accident. And you’re going to take shooting lessons, too.”

I caressed the gun, then picked it up. It was small, like it was made for my hands.

“Okay,” I whispered to myself. “Okay, I’ll take it.”

I just had to act normal, not like I was tweaking out in terror every time I went outside, and there would be nothing to fear. If Maxime ever did come across me himself, I would have the means to stop him from retrieving me.

I slid off the island, then stood up on my tiptoes and kissed Crow on the cheek. I let it linger, making it clear that when it came to him, my thoughts ran in a certain direction.

Namely, towards the gutter.

I disappeared into the bedroom, and tucked the gun away in my nightstand. No matter what happened now, I could promise myself: one way or another, I’d always be defended against Maxime.

ChapterNineteen

Thanks to Zane’s healing, we were completely fine by the time night fell. Which meant there was no excuse for me not to work.

As I tried to pick what to wear—I was feeling subdued after being fired at by Maxime’s men, which meant more black—I ran my fingers over the scar Zane had left.

It barely stood out against my pale skin, but a surprising amount of anger flared within me as I prodded it.

Maxime was so desperate to get me back he was even willing to cripple me. He’d never learned that other demons weren’t just objects for him to collect or destroy at will.

One day, likely soon, I was going to make sure he learned that lesson.

The guys were gone and the penthouse silent as I finished getting ready, and took the elevator downstairs alone. The thumping bass of the club’s opening vibrated through my chest, and I took a deep breath before the doors opened, trying to steel myself.

Just because you and Zane were nearly killed doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time, I tried to tell myself as the doors slid open.

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