Page 99 of Pack Captive

There was always a point. It was better to go down fighting than to lie down and let Fenris roll over us all.

There was also a terror beneath that, that if Ryden knew my true feelings of despair, he wouldn't let me run with the pack as a free wolf.

Come on. Ryden jerked his head towards the Palace.I'm going to tell you something.

As the gates of Lykos were closed and barred behind us, we padded up the street.

I felt weary all the way down to my bones.

You can't save them all,he finally said.You do what you can, and you never stop trying, but you also accept that some things are beyond your control. What we can do is never stop. Never let Fenris break us down.

We walked over the bridge, and Ryden bumped into me with his shoulder, giving a gentle nudge.

You can't beat yourself up for it. Callers weren't just made to help wolves; you also put them to rest when no one else would've done it. That's part of what you made for. Now the pups will have ancestors to speak to. When they're older, they'll take comfort in knowing the souls of their dead aren't lost and wandering.

I heaved a sigh. Calian didn't have that comfort; it was terrible to know that your people were unburied and possibly lost forever, never to become part of the moon's path.

I also knew logically that I'd done what was needed of me, but it still didn't feel like enough.

Ryden nudged me towards the stairs, even though I was so tired I didn't want to walk anymore.

I forced myself to slink upwards, holding onto the promise of a warm bed and a dreamless sleep at the top.

As Alpha, I've had to accept these things, too. Ryden kept pace with me, and if he noticed I leaned a little heavily on his shoulder, he didn't say anything about it.I do my best by my pack, and fix what I can. Maybe I seem like a villain to some, but I do it for the good of my people.

I glanced at him sidelong. I'd once thought him the villain, but now I saw why he did the things he did.

In a world where Fenris took out an entire pack overnight, you were always between a rock and a hard place. There were no easy choices anymore.

We reached the top of the stairs, and I shifted, stumbling a little as I adjusted to walking on only two feet again.

My emotional state was dragging me down, making me want to sleep for a hundred years without waking.

Ryden slipped a hand around my waist and pushed open my door.

"Thank you," he said.

I looked up at him, taking in the fine lines at the corners of his eyes, the tension in his jaw.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you. I asked you to make me part of things, and you did. I don't mean to complain about it, I just..." I took a breath and exhaled. "Those things you talked about...they're hard to accept."

"They are, but that's why we lean on each other."

My breathing grew shallow as Ryden brought me into my room, and closed the door behind me.

"This is why we form packs. We need each other," he said, his other hand going around my waist. My breasts were squished against the hardness of his chest, and suddenly I was a little less tired, my senses waking up. "When you are weak, I can be strong for you. And when I am weak...I hope you can be my pillar, too."

Without thinking about it, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the soft curls at the nape of his neck against my fingers. "I think I can do that. You're holding me up now when I need you."

"That's what I was made to do," he said, then leaned down and kissed me.

It was unlike his other kisses, gentle and soft, his warm lips molding to mine. I let out a small sound, closing my eyes and sinking against him.

I felt like he was a pillar in my time of need, but it was more than just that. Everything about him made my instincts go haywire.

Calian protected me, but Ryden understood me, that need to sometimes just let go when I was so tired from the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders.

When I needed someone else to hold me for a while until I felt like everything would be all right.

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