Page 45 of Kept

“I mean ours, Jane,” he growled. “In the open.”

He hadn’t even pulled out of me yet and he was coming up with sheer insanity.

“Impossible.” I pushed my hips back against his, drawing another groan from him. “You’re my teacher,ProfessorHarlow.”

We slowly got ourselves together and he pulled me against him, my back to his chest, and wrapped his arm around my stomach. “I won’t always be.”

To my surprise, anger flared up inside me, hot and bright. “Who are you trying to convince? We shouldn’t evenbehere.”

Embarrassment came next when I realized tears were prickling the corners of my eyes. I wasn’t going to cry in front of him.

Rhett released me to spin me around to face him, but I stepped out of his grasp.

I’d accepted my lot when I became the Pet. That was all on me.

But helping my mom, taking me on dates, teasing me with the prospect of more that could never actually happen… that was just cruel, and there was nothing to be gained from that kind of hurt. It wasn’t going to make me into a stronger person, just cut me deeper when the time came for them to cut me off and send me on my way with whatever I’d earned for my compliance.

“You’re from the kind of family where arranged marriages are a given,” I said, blurting out the words before he could speak. “You’re from a different level than I am. I dropped out of college before this because I couldn’t afford to matriculate and pay bills. Pretending this is ever going anywhere else is ridiculous at best, and I already have my entire life on the line here.”

“Jane, I-”

“You don’t want to hurt me?” I interrupted. The anger had become a smoldering, bone-deep rage. If life was fair, I would have them, but fairness was just a pipe dream and nothing more. “Then don’t act like this could ever go past this. Don’t talk about how you’re going to need to go fuck someone else and knock them up, then spin me a cute tale about how that could be my life. It won’t be. I know why I’m here. All of this is because you’re holding evidence over my head, but let’s not pretend it’s because you think I could ever be an equal.”

I didn’t give him time to form another word before I’d spun on my heel and disappeared into the stairwell.

No texts appeared on my phone that night. I curled up tight under my covers, sickness churning in my stomach, staring sleeplessly at the wall.

Maybe I should’ve said yes, I could be that girl. Professor Thayer seemed to think so. Professor Harlow thought so. Professor Spears wanted to see what I’d evolve into, and maybe he expected someone who could stand up to them.

When I was with them, I felt alive. I felt like there was a chance to tuck away the mouse forever and be wanted and appreciated the way I’d always seen in other girls and been jealous of. Maybe they were cruel people, but they made mewantto be better.

This time, maybe I’d slammed the open door of opportunity in my own face.

Chapter Fifteen

I passedProfessor Harlow in the hall the next day, and his blue eyes lingered on my face, but he said nothing.

If he wasn’t playing mind games with me, I’d be perfectly happy to climb back into his arms like a good Pet. Until I had reassurance that it wasn’t all castles spun in the air for his entertainment, we were going right back to the way he’d treated me before. A transaction and nothing else.

He didn’t look aloof, though. A thin line of concern had creased itself between his brows, and his gaze flicked to me more often than not during his lecture.

I wondered if there was a chance he was serious, that he didn’t just see me as a scholarship student who was all fun and games until it was time to cut her loose.

Then I admonished myself for thinking something so ludicrous.

I was making the fatal mistake of allowing my emotions to cloud my judgment. If they really cared, wouldn’t they destroy the photos and cut me loose? There was no reason for me to have these feelings for them at all, and yet… here I was.

Snapping at Rhett and leaving him alone on the roof had felt a bit like ripping my own heart out of my chest and tossing it over the side of the building. He’d looked like I’d been the one ripping aparthisfeelings.

But allowing myself those dreams was dangerous territory. At the end of the day, I was still under their thumb.

I scribbled down notes, trying my hardest to pretend I didn’t notice every single time his gaze drifted my way.

When the bells chimed, I tossed my notebook in my bag and joined Rachelle and Sean. He still hadn’t recovered from his sudden headache, scowling as he walked, and he took off for his next class as soon as we hit the hallway.

“Whatis hisdeal?” Rachelle asked, glaring after him. “He snapped at me when I asked to borrow a pen. Can you believe that?” She had three pens and a marker stuck in the bun on top of her head.

“He’s been like this since yesterday,” I said, frowning at Sean’s back. “He was in the library and he just flipped a switch.”

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