Page 36 of Kept

By the timemy shift was over and I’d texted Mom that I’d be home late, my rage had cooled to a tight, hard ball of fear sitting at the bottom of my stomach.

I stood outside Gabriel’s door and licked my lips, my mouth dry as the desert.

As soon as I walked in, I’d be expected to strip in front of countless eyes. There was no way I could do this, whether I lost my scholarship or not.

Then I pictured how light Mom had looked this morning. She genuinely believed all our problems were solved.

And as long as I played along, they would be. She’d never need to know as long as the life we had left together was happy.

I steeled myself, pushed open the door, and walked into… darkness.

The entire art room was pitch black except for a single spotlight, illuminating the cloth-draped table where Spears’ live models posed. The man himself was just outside the pool of illumination, leaning back in his chair with a sketchbook open on his lap.

Cut-crystal eyes cut me into little pieces as he looked me up and down. “Thank you for filling in today, Jane. We needed a new muse.”

With the rest of the room shrouded so deeply I couldn’t even see the amphitheater of chairs, it was easier to pretend there was no one else here. It was just me, Professor Spears, and the light.

I focused on that as I stepped out of my shoes and gripped my shirt with trembling fingers, concentrating on breathing. If I didn’t hyperventilate, it’d all be okay. It was just skin, nothing anyone hadn’t seen before.

I yanked my clothes off with the air of someone getting the worst over with, but paused when I got to my underwear.

Spears spun a pencil between his fingers like a baton. “Everything.”

How could no one else see what was happening here? My face was hot as a furnace as I peeled off the last of my flimsy shield against the world and my arms rose to cover myself.

Just you and Spears, mouse. Pretend it’s empty.

If there were chuckles at my reticence, I couldn’t hear them. It was impossible to hear anything over the thump of my own heartbeat in my ears besides the cool, precise tones of Spears’ instructions.

He didn’t keep me waiting long. With a slight smile on those perfect lips, he gestured to the table, rising from his chair.

I crossed the room quickly, goosebumps rising on every inch of exposed skin as the spotlight put every inch of me on full display. My hands were useless against that bright glare.

I carefully climbed up on the table, sitting with my legs cocked to the side and hiding everything important below the waist. Spears stood back and looked at me, then reached out to pull my braced hand from under me.

With his hands cupping my neck, he lowered me to the table until I was laying down, my head to one side and arms resting over my head. My nipples were pebbled and completely exposed for everyone to see.

I closed my eyes, forcing my breath to remain even. Spears touched the crook of my neck before he left me there, and I heard the rustle of a notebook being picked up.

My heart never settled for a single second, the only part that threatened to hammer out of the statue I’d become. I counted the wavering beats that crashed against my eardrums as the minutes slipped away.

I drifted on a cloud, slowly forgetting all the eyes on me as I listened to the music of creation, the scratch and slide of a pencil on paper as Spears sketched.

Even if this was the most horrible and vulnerable thing I’d ever done there was something satisfying in knowing I’d be immortalized in art. Somebody’s muse, if only for an hour.

I didn’t realize I’d managed to drift into a light sleep until light fingers brushed over my ribs. My eyes snapped open. The brightness of the spotlight framed Professor Spears like a halo, which suited his angelic Michelangelo features. Only I knew how dark the mind behind that face was.

“Welcome back, Pet.” I sat up, taking in the total silence of the room now that the incessant thrum of my heart had settled.

“Is class dismissed already?” It was still impossible to see into the darkness with my retinas burned by the light.

Spears helped me sit up, and my legs dangled off the edge of the table.

“There was no class tonight. I needed a muse, and you provided.”

My limbs froze in the process of sliding to the floor. “What…” No longer caring that I was stark naked, I strode out past the glare of the spotlight and almost walked right into the closest desk.

My eyes slowly adjusted to the pitch-black room.

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