Page 15 of Kept

Rhett.

With a low growl, I shoved the book into place. I didn’t owe them a damn thing. I could walk out right now and never come back, never see their hated faces again.

Mrs. Clarke locked up at eight on the dot. I followed her to the parking lot and ducked into the trees, taking the little trail home. The lights were on, and Mom was in her chair, her nose buried in a book. “I saved you some dinner, hon. How was the first day?”

It was like I hadn’t grown up at all. I went through the motions even though my limbs were wooden and sat at the table. Tonight the soup was tasteless. “It was great. Met some new people, love all my classes…”Got blackmailed into sending a sex tape to the Dean of Students. “The library is gorgeous.”

“That’s wonderful, Jane.” Mom smiled at me. Today her wig was a short, black flapper bob, but her face was drawn and strained beneath. “I think this is exactly what we needed.”

I paused with a spoonful of soup halfway to my mouth. Thiswasexactly what we needed. My degree, a stable job that paid the bills, and by the end of the year, our medical debt would be chipped down by another fifth.

All I had to do to keep it was touch myself.

The not-so-mousy part of me purred. The rest shivered.

“I’m really tired,” I said, rinsing out my bowl when I was done and counting out her nightly pills. “I think I’m going to bed early.”

“Oh, me too, honeybuns.” Mom slipped a bookmark in her place, and I noticed how thin her arms still were, the papery texture of her skin. She was still frail, and Mulholland had the treatment center she needed. “I’m so proud of you.” She stood on her toes, pulling me down to kiss my forehead.

My choices tore at me. Mom’s health and school. Disgrace.

A full video, with your fingers in your pussy until you come.

I kissed her goodnight and washed the dishes, staring out the window into the dark woods the entire time.

At 9:30 I swept the house. 9:45 was taking out the trash. I puttered slowly, finding things to dust, magazines to stack.

At 10:30 I tiptoed down the hall, pausing outside Mom’s door. Her soft snores were the only sound. She slept lightly these days, and a good night’s sleep was a rare occasion for her.

I could give her more of those, as long as she was near the treatment center.

I showered and blew out my hair, and it was 11:20 by the time I slipped into bed, leaving the bedside lamp on. My phone was a brick in my hands, the crumpled card with Thayer’s number weighing me down like a thousand pounds despite its true weightlessness.

It would all be so easy. All I had to do was follow their orders.

I tossed a pillow in the middle of my bed, unlocked my phone, propped it against the cushion, and opened my legs. My pussy was reflected on the video screen. I’d never really looked at this part of myself before; I was quiet, plain, boring, and so was the rest of me. The one boyfriend I’d had back in Northeast was fine with me leaving the lights off. He’d never asked for videos, pictures. The nicest thing he’d ever said was that I ‘was an active participant’, which made the deed sound more like a task that needed to be regularly completed. He was as bland as I was, content with the mediocrity of our situation, fine with the status quo as it stood.

The status quo here was completely upside-down.

It was dangerous, gut-wrenching, exciting.

I pressed the record button with a trembling finger, and when the second-counter began running, I paused with my hand in the crook of my hip.

I could have everything I wanted. Everything weneeded.

My fingers slid downwards, parting my lips and touching myself tentatively. It didn’t feel like much of anything at first, just awkward, nervous fumbling.

I closed my eyes, ignoring the video, and thought of Rhett pushing into me. It was instant gratification, heat sinking into my abdomen, and my breath rasped when I mentally played back his lips sucking my clit with perfect clarity.

In a fit of pique, I substituted Thayer’s mouth for his, imagining what his beard would feel like brushing the inside of my thighs, looking up at me with feral brown eyes. Or Superman, cold and calculated, his hands warm as he pulled me closer and put that perfect mouth to work.

I forgot the phone. My breasts felt tight, needing Rhett’s hands all over me, and I’d grown wet, my fingers slipping over my clit. Thayer’s instructions had been clear, though.

I slipped a finger inside myself, then another, pushing them in and out and imagining his hand in my place, Rhett’s teeth grazing my hard nipples. How degraded I was, but I’d never felt a fever like this before. Not for anyone but them.

My muscles tightened, and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, giving myself what I needed to go over the edge. If Thayer hadn’t just asked for a video, but bent me over his desk right then and there to thrust into me…

I gasped before I could swallow back the sound, my legs shaking uncontrollably when I came. I stroked my clit again, drawing it out until dark stars burst behind my closed eyelids and I felt like I’d been completely wrung out.

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