Page 69 of Between Smoke and Shadow

She tilts her head, face tightening like I’ve caused her physical pain. Before I have a chance to argue more, she inchestoward me. She glances out the window, maybe to check for Joran, and leans over the gap between us.

“You knocked him unconscious with a single strike, Harrick.” Her words are velvet, soft, inviting. “You can do it again. Every single time.”

“It’s not that simple,” I say, shaking my head.

I shouldn’t have told her about my encounter with Malek and Alven, but I wanted her to know her friend had survived, that Malek had tried to kill him but he’d gotten away. She didn’t flinch when I explained he’d sold her out to me, and that only made me more curious of what they were doing and who they are to each other. Clearingthatunpleasant thought from my mind, I continue. “I only beat Malek because I caught him off guard. If he’d expected my attack, he would have deflected it.”

Joran’s darkened silhouette passes by the window opposite Rune. She shifts back in her seat, shoulders tightening, only to lean forward when his shadow passes the door again.

“You’re wrong,” she says. Her voice vibrates as she speaks, and there’s a too-familiar tinge of fear in her eyes, like she thinks her words will anger me. Despite that, she presses on, “You’re not losing because you’re weak, Harrick. You’re losing because you’re not desperate to win.”

My mouth slackens. A sliver of ice infiltrates my veins at the accusation, this idea that I’m failing because I’m nottrying. Rune has no idea what I’ve done to strengthen my abilities. She hasn’t seen the hours of training or the blackened bruises on my skin. She has no idea, and my instinct is to point that out.

But she already looks nauseated. Her face darkens with blush, her pale eyes flickering around my face. She’s embarrassed and scared, waiting for the fallout. I want to ask how she does things, says things, when she’s clearly terrified of doing them.

Instead, I only sigh, letting the disappointment curdle through my stomach.

“I do try, Rune. It may not look?—”

“I know you try,” she interrupts. Her skin flushes again, and she drops her eyes. “It’s just…you’re unstoppable when you feel youmustwin. When you’re not battling for the sake of hurting someone, but for the sake of saving someone else.”

Heat washes through me, boiling the ice from my blood. Though she didn’t outright say it, I heard between her words: she thinks I am unstoppable when I’m fighting forher. Maybe it should annoy me, this idea that I’m stronger for someone else than I am for myself. It doesn’t though. I feel a swell of pride, a satisfying twitch that my magic might be stronger when used for good.

“I don’t mean to overstep my place…” Rune trails off, twisting her fingers together. She finally returns her eyes to mine. “But it might help you.”

I watch her for a long moment, enjoying the openness of her expression. Even with her mask, I can see her vulnerability.

Gods, I want to kiss you.

Before I can, Joran bursts back into the carriage, falling into the nearest seat. He’s soaked, dripping rain over the leather. A pool of water collects at his feet as the door again closes and we lurch back on course.

“Really?”Tora shrieks.

My bedroom light whirs to life, casting an eerie glow over the scarlet room. I squint through the jarring colors to glare at my sister. She stands at the foot of my bed, arms crossed as she glowers right back at me.

Rune, Joran, and I arrived at the Tower less than an hour ago. I’ve just crawled into bed, letting my freshly-bathed limbs mold into the mattress. I had mentally prepared myself for facing her first thing in the morning. I should know my sister better than that by now.

“Can we do this tomorrow?” I ask, unable to keep the irritation from my voice. “You have no idea what I’ve dealt with these past few?—”

“You’re right. Idon’thave any idea,” she interrupts. She drops onto my mattress, landing roughly on my shins. I grunt, shifting out of her way and she quickly claims the space, leaning toward me. “Because youleft mehere to deal with that fallout. The Architect is pissed. Mother has lost her damned mind. And Malek, well, I’m sure you’ve already heard what he’s done.”

I shift at Malek’s name. Joran informed me two days ago that he had survived an attack in the City, and that Sorace had been found dead. My brother couldn’t remember what happened, but the Committee suspects the two got into a deadly brawl while drunk off stolen magic. The irony is not lost on me. Joran didn’t say anything more about it, but I have a creeping suspicion he’s pieced together the truth.

“Yes, I heard,” I confirm. “It’s hard to feel sorry, given what they were doing, don’t you think?”

“Regardless,” Tora snaps, poking me in the chest. “I can’t believe you actually went without me. It wasourplan to run, Harrick. Ours. But you left, and all because you lost one stupid battle?—”

“It’s not stupid,” I say. “I’m letting everyone down, Tora. So don’t act like that’s nothing. And it’s not like I was leaving permanently. If I was going to leave for good, obviously we’d go together.”

Her face sours, like she doesn’t believe me. Surprisingly though, she doesn’t push it. She sags at the end of the mattress,ducking her face into her hands. When she doesn’t move, I twist into a full sit, winding sideways until we’re shoulder to shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Tora. I was mad. I had to get out of here, and I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“You thought to invite Viana,” she says, lips pursing.

Even though I know it’s a chance to confide in her about Rune, I don’t. I can trust Tora—I’ve never doubted that trust for a second in my life, but even saying the words out loud feels like betrayal. The fewer people who know about Rune, the safer she’ll be. So instead of being honest, I grin at my sister, nudging her shoulder with mine.

“Exactly,” I say. “You know she didn’t come though. We didn’t even make it out of the gates before I told her to leave.”

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